崔颢《黄鹤楼》英译、点评、对比
2016-09-01 18:17阅读：
崔颢《黄鹤楼》英译、点评、对比
（曾冲明2016年9月2日）
黄鹤楼
崔颢
昔人已乘黄鹤去，
此地空余黄鹤楼。
黄鹤一去不复返，
白云千载空悠悠。
晴川历历汉阳树，
芳草萋萋鹦鹉洲。
日暮乡关何处是？
烟波江上使人愁。
此诗是李白称道的名诗。许老的译文在网上也同样受到赞赏。
许渊冲教授译：
YELLOW CRANR TOWER
Translated by Xu Yuanchong
The stage on yellow crane was gone amid clouds
white.
To what avail is Yellow Crane Tower left here?
Once gone, the yellow crane will ne’er on earth
alight;
Only white clouds still float in vain from year to
year.
By sunlit river trees can be count’d one by one;
On Parrot Islet sweet green grass grows fast and
thick.
Where
is native land beyond the setting sun?
The mist-veiled waves of River Han make me
homesick.
我认真仔细地研读，同时插注点评如下，欢迎批评指正！
YELLOW CRANR
TOWER
The stage on yellow crane was gone amid clouds
white.【“昔人”被译成stage
；此词通常表示“舞台”，很少用作专有名词，但必须大写开头，表示一个“人名”。不知许老为何要用此词？amid clouds
white.（在白云中）是纯粹加添为了押韵的】
To what avail is Yellow Crane Tower left
here?【“此地空余黄鹤楼”怎么这样译！To what avail 表示“有什么用”。看来也是为了押韵】
Once gone, the yellow crane will ne’er on earth alight;【on
earth alight;飞到地上】
Only white clouds still float in vain from year to
year.【“空”这里译成in vain】
By sunlit river trees can be count’d one by
one;【在阳光照亮的河面上，树林可以一棵一棵地数出，】
On Parrot Islet sweet green grass grows fast and
thick.【在鹦鹉岛上可爱的青草长得快和密。】
Where is native land beyond the setting
sun?【落日后面何处是故乡？】
The mist-veiled waves of River Han make me
homesick.【汉江雾蒙蒙的波浪使我想家。】
总之，许老的译法是：先以音节押韵，而后直译全诗。应该说，这首译文是经过许老的辛苦努力的，但译文的英语显得有些呆板。我的英语语感也十分有限，不妥之处，欢迎批评指正！
我也复制拙译如下，更是欢迎批评指正！
曾冲明译:
Yellow Crane Tower
by
Cui Hao
It was said someone ancient flew away on the fairy crane.
But the tower called with its name remains here alone.
This Yellow Crane has flown to somewhere once for all.
White clouds wander without aim above this tower forever.
Brilliant trees beyond the Hanyang Town at sunset are clear;
Green grasses on the Parrot Islet -- thick and flourish
still.
Is there my hometown where the sun is setting behind the
hill?
The river with smoky waves makes me homesick even more
usual.
【附】崔颢《黄鹤楼》英译对比资料
【从网上复制回来以后补充并整理】
（曾冲明2015年11月20日深夜）
黄鹤楼 崔颢
昔人已乘黄鹤去， 此地空余黄鹤楼。 黄鹤一去不复返， 白云千载空悠悠。
晴川历历汉阳树， 芳草萋萋鹦鹉洲。 日暮乡关何处是？ 烟波江上使人愁。
丰华瞻译：
The Yellow Crane Tower
Cui Hao
An ancient sage rode a yellow crane and flew away,
And here is left only a Yellow Crane Tower.
The yellow crane left and will not come back in any way,
And white clouds float in heaven for a thousand years and
more.
Distinct rows of trees along the creek in Hanyang shine in
the sun light,
And a green meadow extends far on Parrot Isle fine.
Evening comes, yet our home is out of sight—
The haze on the river makes us grieve and pine.
许渊冲译： YELLOW CRANR TOWER
The stage on yellow crane was gone amid clouds white.
To what avail is Yellow Crane Tower left here?
Once gone, the yellow crane will ne'er on earth alight;
Only white clouds still float in vain from year to year.
By sunlit river trees can be count'd one by one;
On Parrot Islet sweet green grass grows fast and thick.
Where is native land beyond the setting sun?
The mist-veiled waves of River Han make me homesick.
唐一鹤译：
Yellow Crane Tower
By Cui Hao
Gone was the ancient celestial
Riding the yellow crane away.
Here is the vacant Yellow Crane Tower
Left and stay.
The yellow crane, once having gone away,
Will never come back again.
White clouds floating about for thousands of years
On and on aimlessly remain.
Trees by the sun-lit stream in Hanyang Are clear and bright.
Lush and green are the fragrant grasses
On the Parrot Isle. The sun setting,
Where's my place native?
Misty waves on the stream Make me plaintive!
海外逸士译：
Yellow Stork Tower
by Cui Hao
The man in past long gone, riding a yellow stork,
The Tower of the Yellow Stork is vainly left here.
Once gone and never back, so is the yellow stork;
White clouds are vainly floating for thousands of year.
Trees on river at Hanyang are clearly in sight;
And grass on Parrot Shoal is luxuriant and green.
Where's the hometown when evening sun sheds last light?
The river and waves in mists putting me in spleen.
孙大雨译：
Yellow Crane Tower
The man of fairly love hath gone
By riding a yellow crane,
So here is but left the tower called
The Yellow Crane by name.
The yellow crane hath flied away
Not to come back again,
For a thousand years there are white clouds
Floating in the blue void main.
The sun on the fair-day river shineth
And on trees of Hanyang Town
The sweet verdure on the Parrot Isle
Is beaming a lush, fresh lawn.
In the setting sun's light where could be
The native pass of the borough?
The smoky spumes on the River's surface
Fill the onlookers with sorrow.
网上署名“自由译者”译：
The Yellow Crane Tower
Astride his Yellow Crane th' immortal has heaven-wards flown,
Leaving behind him the Yellow Crane Tower all alone.
The crane has gone for ages, ne'er to hither come again;
The fleecy clouds have been expecting ever since in vain.
The Hanyang plain presents trees charming in the sun's warm
shine,
The Parrot Isle competes by showing grass so lush and fine.
In the dusk of the evening where's hometown there's no way to
know,
Only the misty river's seen in its saddening flow!
Peter Harris译：
Long ago someone rode away on a yellow crane；
All that's left here，pointlessly，is Yellow Crane Tower.
Once a yellow crane has gone it won't come back again -
The white clouds will be empty, endless，for a thousand year.
Across the river in the sun are the trees of Hanyang in rows，
And scented grass on Parrot Island growing thick and lush.
But whereabout is my home village，in the evening light？
Seeing the misty waves on the river I grow disconsolate.
任治稷、余正 译:
Yellow Crane Tower
Gone is Man of Old on the back of yellow crane,
Nothing but Yellow Crane Tower here remains.
Yellow crane is gone and never to return,
White clouds endless in time and space!
Crystal clear are the sunny river and Hanyang trees,
Lush, lush fragrant grass rolls away on Parrot Isle.
Sunset breeds homesickness; where should one be?
Misty waves on the river make one want to weep.
张廷琛、魏博思 译：
Yellow Crane Tower
Cui Hao
Long ago the ancient one departed on the Yellow Crane;
His tower's all that's left. What's gone will never come
again:
For a thousand years, white clouds stretch endlessly
across an empty sky. Across the sunlit river, clearly seen are
Hangyang's trees.
And Parrot Island's teeming, fragrant grasses.
The sun is setting, but what can I call home?
The river's mists and billows make my heart forlorn.
曾冲明译:
Yellow Crane Tower
by
Cui Hao
It was said someone ancient flew away on the fairy crane.
But the tower called with its name remains here alone.
This Yellow Crane has flown to somewhere once for all.
White clouds wander without aim above this tower forever.
Brilliant trees beyond the Hanyang Town at sunset are clear;
Green grasses on the Parrot Islet -- thick and flourish
still.
Is there my hometown where the sun is setting behind the
hill?
The river with smoky waves makes me homesick even more
usual.
