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辛弃疾《丑奴儿·书博山道中壁》两位名家英译对比

2018-03-06 13:08阅读:
辛弃疾《丑奴儿·书博山道中壁》两位名家英译对比
(曾冲明2018年3月6日)
过去网上早就有人对比这两位译文。不过我跟他们的看法不同。
丑奴儿·书博山道中壁
辛弃疾
少年不识愁滋味,爱上层楼。
爱上层楼。为赋新词强说愁。

而今识尽愁滋味,欲说还休。
欲说还休。却道天凉好个秋。
林语堂译:
In my younger days, I had tasted only gladness,
But loved to mount the top floor,
But loved to mount the top floor,
To write a song pretending sadness,
And now I’ve tasted Sorrow’s flavors, bitter and sour,
And can’t find a word,
And can’t find a word,
But merely say,“what a golden autumn hour!”
林语堂先生这首译文也是以音节押韵,我想是因为原诗八句就有四句重复:爱上层楼。
爱上层楼。欲说还休。欲说还休。像《诗经》那样,这四句自然可以、容易、需要重复,这也是信达雅三位一体翻译原则要求的,其他四句也比较容易采用音节押韵而不违背信达雅三字原则。我把此译文还原直译成现代汉语如下:
In my younger days, I had tasted only gladness,
在我比较年青的时候,我只尝过快乐。
But loved to mount the top floor,
但我爱登楼阁的顶层。
But loved to mount the top floor,
但我爱登楼阁的顶层。
To write a song pretending sa
dness,
去写一首假装忧愁的歌。
And now I’ve tasted Sorrow’s flavors, bitter and sour,
现在我已经尝过痛苦的味道,又苦又酸。
And can’t find a word,
可是找不到一个词,
And can’t find a word,
可是找不到一个词,
But merely say,“what a golden autumn hour!”
我只是说,“好一个金秋的时间!”
许老父子这首译文也是音节押韵,但诗的意思如何呢?我也直译还原成现代汉语如下:
许渊冲、许明 译:
Song of Ugly Slave
While young, I knew no grief I could not bear;
我年青时,我不知道我不能忍受的忧愁;
I’d like to go upstair.
我愿意去楼上。
I’d like to go upstair
我愿意去楼上,
To write new verses with a false despair.
用假的失望去写新的诗篇。
I know what grief is now that I am old;【英语语法有问题】
我知道现在的忧愁是我已经老了;
I would not have it told.
我不想说它。
I would not have it told,
我不想说它。
But only say I’m glad that autumn’s cold.
但只说,我高兴秋天是冷的。
恕我直言,许老这首译文实在不怎么样,能说是“随心所欲不逾矩”吗?请大家评论吧!
最后附上鄙人抽绎,衷心欢迎批评指正!
曾冲明译:
About True and False Sorrow
While young, I knew no sorrow at all;
I’d like to go to the top floor of tower
To declare my new poem of sorrow.
Now that I know what the sorrow really is;
I have to stop talking what I want within.
I dare not to speak out what I want within
I'd merely say what a cool fall day it looks!

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