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The ￡1,000,000 Bank Note (Excerpts)
服装店奇遇——名著《百万英镑》节选
keywords: tailor-shop, small change, judge, millionaire
By this time I was tramping the streets again. The sight of a tailor-shop gave me a sharp longing to shed my rags, and to clothe myself decently once more. Could I afford it? No; I had nothing in the world but a million pounds. So I forced myself to go on by. But soon I was drifting back again. I asked if they had a misfit suit on their hands. The fellow I spoke to nodded his head towards another fellow, and gave me no answer.
I waited till he was done with what he was doing, then he took me into a back room, and overhauled a pile of rejected suits, and selected the rattiest one for me. I put it on. It didn't fit, and wasn't in any way attractive, but it was new, and I was anxious to have it; so I said with some diffidence: “It would be an accommodation to me if you could wait some days for the money. I haven't any small change about me.”
He received it with a smile, one of those large smiles which goes around all over, and looks like the place where you have thrown a brick in a pond; and then in the act of his taking a glimpse of the bill this smile froze solid, and turned yellow. I never before saw a smile caught like that, in perpetuity. The man stood there holding the bill, and looking like that, and the proprietor hustled up to see what was the matter, and said: “Well, what's up? What's the trouble?”
The proprietor took a look, made a dive for the pile of rejected clothing, and began to snatch it this way and that, talking all the time excitedly, and as if to himself: “Sell an eccentric millionaire such an unspeakable suit as that! Tod's a fool—a born fool. Ah, here's the thing I am after. Please get those things off, sir, and throw them in the fire. Do me the favor to put on this shirt and this suit; it's just the thing, the very thing—plain, rich, modest, and just ducally nobby—there! Trousers all right, they fit you to a charm, sir; now the waistcoat; aha, right again! Now the coat—Lord! Look at that, now! Perfect—the whole thing! I never saw such a triumph in all my experience.” I expressed my satisfaction.
“Quite right, sir, quite right; But wait till you see what we'll get up for you on your own measure. Come, Tod, book and pen; get at it. Length of leg, 32”—and so on. Before I could get in a word he had measured me, and was giving orders for dress-suits, morning suits, shirts, and all sorts of things. “Tod, rush these things through, and send them to the gentleman's address without any waste of time. Set down the gentleman's address and—”“I'm changing my quarters. I will drop in and leave the new address.” I said. “Quite right, sir, quite right. One moment—let me show you out, sir. There—good day, sir, good day.”
这时，我又在大街上逛了起来。看到一家服装店，一股热望涌上我的心头：甩掉这身破衣裳，给自己换一身体面的行头。我能买得起吗？不行，除了那一百万英镑，我一无所有。于是，我强迫自己从服装店前走了过去。可是，不一会儿我又转了回来。我问他们手头有没有顾客试过的不合身的衣服。我问的伙计没搭理我，只是朝另一个点点头。
我等着。他忙完了手头的事，把我带到后面的一个房间，在一摞退货当中翻了一通，给我挑出一套最寒酸的来。我换上了这套衣服。这衣服不合身，毫无魅力可言，可它总是新的，而我正急着要衣服穿呢。因此我迟迟疑疑地说：“要是你们能等两天再结账，就帮了我的忙了。现在我一点零钱都没带。”
那店员端出一副刻薄至极的嘴脸说：“哦，您没带零钱？说真的，我想您也没带。我以为像您这样的先生光会带大票子呢。”我火了，说：“朋友，对外地来的，你们不能总拿衣帽取人啊。这套衣服我买得起，只是不愿让你们找不开一张大票，添麻烦。” “我可没成心出口伤人，”他说，“不过，我告诉您，您一张口就咬定我们找不开您带的什么票子，这可是多管闲事。正相反，我们找得开。”我把那张钞票递给他，说：“哦，那好，对不起了。”
他笑着接了过去，这是那种无处不在的笑容，就像往水池子里面扔了一块砖头。可是，只瞟了一眼钞票，他的笑容就凝固了，脸色大变。我从未见过谁的笑脸僵成那幅模样。这家伙站在那儿捏着钞票，定定地瞅着，这时老板忙过来看到底出了什么事，问道：“哎，怎么啦？有什么问题？”
我说：“什么问题也没有。我正等着找钱呢。”“快点，快点！找给他钱，托德，找给他钱。”托德反唇相讥：“找给他钱！说得轻巧，先生，您自个儿看看吧。”
那老板看了一眼，一头扎进那摞退货的衣服里开始乱翻起来。一边翻，一边不停唠叨，好像是自言自语：“把一套拿不出手的衣服卖给一位非同寻常的百万富翁！托德这个傻瓜！——天生的傻瓜。啊，我找的就是这件。先生，请把这些东西脱了，都扔到火里头去。请您赏脸穿上这件衬衫和这身套装；合适，太合适了——简洁、考究、庄重，完全是王公贵族的气派——嘿！裤子正好，正合您的身，先生；再试试马甲；啊哈，也合适！再穿上外衣——上帝！看看，喏！绝了——真是绝了！我干了一辈子还没见过这么漂亮的衣服哪！”我表示满意。
“您圣明，先生，圣明；不过，您等着，瞧我们按您自个儿的尺码给您做衣裳。快，托德，拿本子和笔；我说你记。裤长三十二英寸——”如此等等。还没等我插一句嘴，他已经量完了，正在吩咐做晚礼服、晨礼服、衬衫以及各色各样的衣服。“托德，赶紧把这些衣眼做出来，一刻也别耽搁，送到这位先生的府上去。把这位先生的地址记下来，再——”“我就要搬家了。我什么时候来再留新地址。”我说。“您圣明，先生，您圣明。稍等——我送送您，先生。好——您走好，先生，您走好。”