【英语作文】李辉老师教作文(7)个人见解型议论文
2011-11-15 23:51阅读：
【题目】
假如你是中学生李华，你的美国朋友Jack给你的来信中寄来了一张照片（一张他在抽烟的照片），请用英语写一封回信，内容如下：
1、
表示惊讶
2、
介绍抽烟的危害
3、 给出戒烟的方法
【学生原版】
Dear Jack,
How is life
treating you? I
have received your
last letter and
also the photo
in it. Now
I’m writing to
you to express
my feelings after
seeing the
picture.
I just couldn’t
believe my eyes
when I saw
you, a teenager
who had a
cigarette in his
hand, in the
picture. Many reasons
are reasonable enough
to discourage you
from smoking. First
and foremost, it
is obvious that
a smoking boy
is likely to
give a bad
impression on other
people. Additionally, it
goes without saying
that the smoke
and smell given
off by a
cigarette always make
the public uncomfortable.
Last but not
least, nothing can
alter the fact
that smoking will
do harm to
your own.
Here are several
suggestions on giving
up smoking. To
begin with, a
strong will is
needed. What’s more,
you can do
some exercises when
you are bored
instead of smoking.
Finally, you are
supposed to get
out of reach
of the cigarettes
with all your
might. Hopefully these
mentioned above will
be of great
help.
You are
a friend that
I value so
much, and I
hope that you
are ever-healthy. Looking
forward to your
early reply.
Yours,
LiHua
【分析】
这是一篇典型的“个人见解型”议论文，要求考生针对某个问题，提出自己的观点，加以解释，并给出意见。
【点评】
Dear Jack,
How is life
treating you? I
have received your
last letter and
also the photo
with（改为with更地道）
it. Now I’m
writing
to
you to express
my feelings after
seeing the
picture.
I just（活用副词，很好，就放在这个位置）
couldn’t believe my
eyes when I
saw you, a
teenager who had
a cigarette in
his
hand,（非常自然的“同位语+定语从句”的帅气用法） in
the picture. Many
reasons are reasonable
enough to discourage
you from smoking.
First and foremost,
it is obvious
that a smoking
boy is likely
to give a
bad impression on
other people.
Additionally, it goes
without saying that
the smoke and
smell given off
by a cigarette
always make the
public uncomfortable.
Last but not
least, nothing can
alter the fact
that smoking will
do harm to
yourself（此处应为反身代词）.
（三个解释非常精彩，语言也很地道，但是这三个句子到底在解释哪个主题句呢？建议在Many
reasons 这句话前面再加上一个简洁明快的主题句，如In
my opinion, smoking
is so bad a
habit that you
should give it up
as soon as
possible.）
Here are several
suggestions on giving
up smoking. To
begin with, a
strong will is
undoubtedly
needed. What’s
more, you can
do some exercises
when you are
bored instead of
smoking. Finally, you
are supposed to
get out of
reach of the
cigarettes with all
your might. Hopefully
these
suggestions
mentioned above
will be of
great help.
（太喜欢这种清晰的结构了，
T-E结构绝对是议论性段落的不二法门，这篇28分的作文再次印证了这一观点。）
You are
a friend that
I value so
much, and I
hope that you
are ever-healthy. Looking
forward to your
early reply.
（结尾段的客套话写了两个：1、表达希望，2、期待回信。相当的自然。）
Yours,
LiHua
实在没什么地方可以修改的了，下面给出终极背诵版，大家拿去背
