对《清明》英译的批评与赏析
2011-06-13 10:34阅读：
本文纯属个人观点，如借用请谨慎
清明
杜牧
清明时节雨纷纷，
路上行人欲断魂。
借问酒家何处有，
牧童遥指杏花村。
杨宪益、戴乃迭英译（无韵译法）
In
the Rainy Season of Spring
It
drizzles endless during the rainy season in
spring,
Travelers along
the road look gloomy and miserable.
When I ask a shepherd boy where I can find a
tavern,
He points at a distant hamlet
nestling amidst apricot blossoms.
蔡廷干英译（韵式aabb）
All Souls’ Day
The rain falls thick and fast on All Souls'
Day,
The men and women sadly move along the way.
They ask where wineshops can be
found or where to rest ----
And there the herdboy's fingers
Almond-Town suggest.
孙大雨英译（韵式aaba）
The Clear-and-Bright Feast of
Spring
Upon the Clear-and-Bright Feast of spring, the
rain drizzleth down in spray.
Pedestrians on
countryside ways, in gloom are pinning away.
When asked 'Where a tavern fair for
rest, is hereabouts to be found',
The shepherd boy the Apricot Bloom
Vill, doth point to afar and say.
万昌盛、王中英译（韵式aabb）
The Dismal Day
The ceaseless drizzle drips all the dismal
day,
So
broken-hearted fares the traveler on the
way.
When asked where could be found a tavern
bower,
A
cowboy points to yonder village of the apricot
flower.
吴钧陶英译（韵式aaba）
The Pure Brightness Day
It
drizzles thick and fast on the Pure Brightness
Day,
I travel with my
heart lost in dismay.
'Is there a public house somewhere,
cowboy?'
He
points at Apricot Village
faraway.
吴伟雄英译（韵式aabb）
The Mourning Day
It
drizzles thick and fast on the Mourning Day,
The mourner's
heart is going to break on his way.
When asked for a wineshop to drown
his sad hours?
A
cowboy points to a hamlet amid apricot
flowers.
许渊冲英译（韵式aabb）
The Mourning Day
A
drizzling rain falls like tears on the Mourning
Day;
The mourner’s
heart is going to break on his way.
Where can a wineshop be found to
drown his sad hours?
A
cowherd points to a cot ‘mid apricot
flowers.
许渊冲译文摘自《中国古诗词六百首》
THE DAY OF MOURNING FOR THE
DEAD
The day of mourning for the dead it’s raining
hard;
My heart is
broken on my way to the graveyard.
Where can I find a wineshop to drown
my sad hours?
A
herdboy points to cots amid apricot
flowers.
首先是标题“清明”的翻译：蔡廷干All Souls’
Day，用了归化的译法，指11月2日的“万灵节”，是罗马天主教为亡灵起到超度的节日，这与我国上坟扫墓的清明节相比，宗教色彩太浓，在时间上也迥异，只有在为纪念死者这一点上是相似的。所以不是很理想。
另一方面，从诗的内容来看显而易见的是当天是下雨的，所以即使吴钧陶译的The Pure Brightness
Day和孙大雨译的The Clear-and-Bright Feast of
Spring保留了我国传统的文化色彩，但明显地和这首诗的整体意境没有会很好地融合。
杨宪益、戴乃迭译的In the Rainy Season of
Spring仍是不理想，不够点题，只说明了清明的天气特征，可惜却没有进一步表示清明的习俗。
万昌盛、王中译的The Dismal
Day算是很符合诗的意境，但美中不足的是翻译之后和原文的清明联系不大，所以不是很满意。
综上得出的结论是吴伟雄和许渊冲译的The Mourning
Day是相对比较令人满意的。
其次就是“路上行人”的翻译：travelers，The men and
women, pedestrians, the mourner,
以上的译法都不够理想，首先是不够深刻，不够力度传达“欲断魂”的感受，另外，与后两行的语篇意境没有形成很好的连贯性。所以综合比较用第一人陈是相对比较理想的。
再次是“酒家”的翻译：tavern回译之后主要是客栈（inn）的意思，没有很好地传达找酒家借酒浇愁之意。Public
house是Pub的意思，然而却不符合中国的文化背景。因此还是翻译成wine
shop最浅显易懂且简单明了。
最后历来最有争议的就是诗末“杏花村”的翻译：其实我认为证实杏花村到底是实是虚，应该不属于翻译者的工作。在翻阅唐诗宋词过程中，“杏花村”是出现频率非常高的一个字眼。如唐诗中有“薄烟杨柳路，微雨杏花村”、“雨干杨柳渡，山热杏花村”、“晚风杨叶社，寒食杏花村”，宋词中有“酒旗渔市，冷落杏花村”、“罗浮梦觉，步芳影、如宿杏花村”等等。可以看出其中的“杏花村”，均泛指杏花盛开的村庄。古人作诗填词时，贵含蓄、忌直白，尤其是在涉及村名、地名的时候，往往以自然景观、人文特色，甚至自己的某种意境来替代。所以，杜牧诗中的“杏花村”，应该是诗人看到或想像中的一个开满杏花的村庄。《四库全书•杏花村志》中则点明：“杜牧……‘借问酒家何处有？牧童遥指杏花村’句，盖泛言风景之词，必以一村以实之，则话句反为滞相矣！”
所以，综合上述四点讨论，再加上对诗歌韵律的追求，对许渊冲的多个翻译版本的优化整合，整理出此篇相对满意的翻译：
The Mourning Day
On the day of mourning it’s rainy
hard
My heart is broken on the way to the
graveyard
