自认为是i人,别人却说你很e:你可能是“a人”
2024-06-03 17:50阅读:

莱昂纳德·贝尔(Leonard
Baier)是德国小镇的一名平面设计师,他总能找到聊天的话题,所以如果你想找人参加聚会,那他会是最佳人选。如果他独自去酒吧,甚至还能结识几个新朋友。但与此同时,他也喜欢独自待在公寓里,“关上门,享受一些安宁和平静”。例如,在与朋友相处一段时间后,他也很希望能有一段不被打扰的时间。
贝尔正好符合中间性格(ambiversion)——他并非彻底的外向型(extroversion)或内向型(introversion),或者说他并不属于我们常说的“e人”和“i人”,而是介于两者之间。一般来说,我们会认为i人从独处中获取大部分能量,而e人从与他人的互动中获得能量;i人更容易感受到来自他人的压力,而e人会享受他人的陪伴。但对贝尔来说,这些情况不是绝对的,有时他与别人在一起时会感到舒适和放松,但在另外一些时候,他也会为社交感到紧张。
贝尔并不是个例。柏林洪堡大学人格方面的研究者延斯·阿森多夫(Jens
Asendorf)表示:“90%的人都介于内向型与外向型之间,”那些偏外向的人也会偶尔喜欢独处,同时,“每个人都需要社交,内向的人也会偶尔与他人互动。”
换句话说,大多数人可能都是“a人”。但很难清晰地分辨“i人”“e人”和“a人”,心理学家斯科特·巴里·考夫曼(Scott Barry
Kaufman)说,“没有一条清晰的定义将中间性格与内向型和外向型区分开来。”
如果你根据人们的特质把他们放在连续谱中,绝大多数人可能都处于中间位置,很少有人位于两极。用统计学术语来说,人类个性的维度符合正态分布。除了内向、中间和外向之外,还可以有更多的维度。“你可以创造更多的子类别,例如,轻度外向和轻度内向,”考夫曼说。
中
间性格才是最好的?
一个“a人”可能会同时体现出“e人”和“i人”的某些特质:如果是一个周五的夜晚,贝尔的朋友突然来访,约他出去聚会,贝尔当即就能穿上外套准备出发。但如果这个晚上并没有人来找他,贝尔也不会烦恼。相反,他会在这样一个安静的夜晚看剧或是画画,享受独处的快乐。考夫曼表示:“中间性格的人心态更灵活,这在日常生活中非常有用。”
考夫曼认为:“总的来说,这三类性格是没有好坏之分的。”相反,每种性格都有独特的优缺点,这取决于面对的具体情况。例如,尽管有些研究表明外向型的人比内向型的人更快乐,但某些研究人员反驳说,这反映了社会偏见:更看重外向型的特质。
那么中间性格有什么好处呢?目前只有少数研究涉及这一方面,其中就包括美国宾夕法尼亚大学的心理学家亚当·格朗(Adam
Grant)2013年的一项研究。在该研究中,在企业的客服中心,中间性格员工的平均销售收入高于外向型或内向型性格的同事。格朗观察到,这些中间性格的人更能适应不同的沟通对象。他们热情而自信,足以让人信服——但不会表现出过度兴奋或自信的状态。相反,他们会听取顾客的意见,并站在客户的角度考虑。
一项发表于2016年的研究发现,与外向型学生相比,生物专业中内向型和中间型的学生在学术上通常表现得稍好一些。研究者写道,中间型的人可能结合了两种极端性格的特点,他们可以像内向者一样专注于学习,但又能像外向者一样与同学社交。与此同时,在越南进行的一项针对68名英语专业学生的研究(2023年发表)发现,其中22名自认为是中间性格的学生呈现出了外向和内向相结合的特质。他们会根据具体情况采用不同的学习策略,例如是快速浏览新信息,还是通过提问他人来提高理解力,或是使用记忆辅助工具(例如用不同色彩标记的笔记)。
加拿大麦吉尔大学组织架构领域的研究者卡尔·莫勒(Karl
Moore)2012年在《福布斯》(Forbes)杂志中写道,除了学术领域,在商业环境中,内向和外向的结合可能有助于带来最佳决策。外向的人被认为是天生的领导者,能够激励人们追随,但缺点在于他们往往缺乏倾听;内向的管理者会更关注他们的员工,并给予他们更多的发展空间。
常见但被忽视
尽管对中间性格的赞誉颇多,但相关的科学研究仍然相对匮乏。多年来,这一概念一直未受到重视。该术语最早由心理学家埃德蒙·史密斯·康克林(Edmund
Smith
Conklin)于1923年提出,当时他试图定义内向和外向。然而之后这个术语就被遗忘了。直到几十年后,英国心理学家汉斯·于尔根·艾森克(Hans
Jürgen Eysenck)在人格模型中重新引入了这一概念。
研究者缺乏对一领域的兴趣,原因之一可能在于,按照定义,中间性格通常没有特别显著或令人难忘的个性特征。加拿大康考迪亚大学的心理学家伊恩·戴维森(Ian
Davidson)在2017年的一篇论文中解释说,提出“中间性格”这一术语的目的,是为了描述处于两极之间的人。
相比之下,目前的大多数研究都集中在明显的内向型或外向型性格上。尽管已经做了许多调查工作,但对于位于连续谱中部50%区间的人,几乎没有进行过单独分析。考夫曼对此表示遗憾:“全面观察所有数据是良好的科学素养,但许多人更喜欢寻找简单的答案,来解释为什么人们会以他们所感受、思考和行动的方式行事。”换句话说,关注极端情况可以使某些研究过程变得更容易。
但是忽视中间性格的人可能会带来问题。人们经常会误解外向型和内向型性格的实际含义,这需要更细致地理解这些概念。例如,许多人会认为内向型性格等于容易害羞、不喜欢他人,甚至是社交焦虑。“这与害怕社交毫无关系,”阿森多夫说。相反,正如他在《个性心理学》(Psychology
of Personality)一书中所指出的,内向型的人只是更喜欢独处时间。
另一个危险之处在于,如果人们不理解中间性格的存在,就会将自己和他人简单地归类为极端的内向型或外向型。这样的话,他们可能更加确信自己的性格是天生的,并且是僵化、不变的。在这个过程中,人们会失去对人类复杂性的认识,而人类复杂性“充满了相互矛盾的性格特征”,考夫曼说。
事实上,性格并非是一成不变的。在2000年,一项关于152项纵向研究的分析发现,
我们在内向-外向等性格维度上的定位可能会随着年龄的增长而改变。人格特质确实会随着年龄的增长而趋于稳定,但直到50岁之后才会达到最稳定的状态。
无论一个人是什么性格,最好的选择是强调他们性格中积极的一面。“正如研究向我们揭示的那样,如果想要快乐,你首先应该接受自己,”考夫曼说。
贝尔就是一个例子,他很高兴自己既不是极端的“e人”,也不是极端的“i人”。在工作中,他可以流畅地表达自己的想法。他和6个兄弟姐妹一起长大,直到11岁才有自己的房间,所以他习惯于被很多人包围。然而,贝尔仍然记得小时候他是如何努力为自己寻找独处时间的。当家里人忙于其他事情时,他就会带狗狗一起散步。如今,当他想要一些独处的时间时,仍然会选择亲近大自然。这些短暂的休息对贝尔来说很重要,太多的计划和会议让他感到压力很大。“最重要的是,我能够随性地生活,”他说。
Extrovert or Introvert: Most People Are Actually
Ambiverts
Research on personality types in the middle of the
extroversion-introversion scale is limited—yet the majority of
people fall into this category
BY HANNAH SCHULTHEISS
Leonard Baier is a graphic designer who lives in a small town in
Germany. He’s the perfect person to meet at a party because he can
always find a topic of conversation. If he goes into a bar alone,
he comes out with a handful of new acquaintances. Yet he also
appreciates living alone in a cozy, two-room apartment. There he
enjoys “closing the door every now and then and having some peace
and quiet,” he says. After long visits with friends, for example,
he is happy to be undisturbed for a while.
Baier meets the criteria for ambiversion, a trait in the middle of
the continuum between extroversion and introversion. Whereas an
introverted person draws most of their energy from being alone, an
extroverted person becomes energized from interacting with other
people. Introverts are more easily stressed by other people,
whereas extroverts thrive in the company of others. But for Baier
these dynamics depend on the circumstances: Sometimes he feels
comfortable and relaxed in company. Other times people stress him
out.
He's far from the only one. Most people are not exclusively
introverted or extroverted. “Ninety percent of people are somewhere
in the middle,” says Jens Asendorpf, a personality researcher at
Humboldt University of Berlin. People who tend to be extroverted
also like to keep to themselves from time to time. “And since
everyone needs social contact, introverts also seek interaction
with others—just less so,” Asendorpf adds.
In other words, the vast majority of people are probably ambiverts.
But it’s hard to clearly separate these categories, says
psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman. “There is no magic line that
clearly separates ambiversion from introversion and extroversion,”
he says.
If you place people on the continuum according to their
characteristics, the vast majority are probably in the middle, with
fewer toward the extremes. This dimension of human personality is
“normally distributed,” as the statistical term goes. There are
also many more gradations than just introverted, ambiverted and
extroverted. “You could create even more subcategories—for example,
mild extroversion and mild introversion,” Kaufman says.
AMBIVERSION: THE BEST OF EVERYTHING?
Ambiversion combines the worlds of extroversion and introversion:
When Baier’s friends spontaneously drop by on a Friday evening and
want to take him to a party, he grabs his jacket and sets off. But
if he has no plans, that doesn’t bother him either. On the
contrary, he enjoys a quiet evening watching a TV series or
drawing. “Ambivert people have a more flexible mindset, which can
be very useful in everyday life,” Kaufman says.
In general, it cannot be said that one of the three
categories—extroversion, ambiversion or introversion—is better or
worse than the others. “There is no hierarchy of goodness when it
comes to personality traits,” Kaufman says. Instead each has
advantages and disadvantages, depending on the situation. For
example, although some studies suggest extroverts are happier than
introverts, certain researchers have countered that this reflects a
larger social bias that values outgoing behaviors that are more
typical among extroverts.
A study published in 2016 found that both ambiverted and
introverted biology students generally performed slightly better
academically than extroverts. The researchers wrote that ambiverts
may draw on characteristics from both ends of the spectrum by
concentrating on their studies much like an introvert but
socializing with classmates like an extrovert. Meanwhile a study
conducted in Vietnam of 68 students majoring in English, published
in 2023, found that the 22 students who described themselves as
ambiverts balanced extrovert and introvert tendencies. They adapted
varied study tactics to specific circumstances, such as rapidly
skimming new information, asking others questions to improve their
understanding and creating memory aids such as color-coded
notes.
A study published in 2016 found that both ambiverted and
introverted biology students generally performed slightly better
academically than extroverts. The researchers wrote that ambiverts
may draw on characteristics from both ends of the spectrum by
concentrating on their studies much like an introvert but
socializing with classmates like an extrovert. Meanwhile a study
conducted in Vietnam of 68 students majoring in English, published
in 2023, found that the 22 students who described themselves as
ambiverts balanced extrovert and introvert tendencies. They adapted
varied study tactics to specific circumstances, such as rapidly
skimming new information, asking others questions to improve their
understanding and creating memory aids such as color-coded
notes.
Despite praise for ambiversion, the science is still relatively
thin. For years the concept received little attention. First
mentioned in 1923 by psychologist Edmund Smith Conklin, who was
attempting to define introversion and extroversion, the term was
then forgotten. It only reappeared decades later in the personality
models of British psychologist Hans Jürgen Eysenck.
A COMMON BUT NEGLECTED TRAIT
By contrast, most studies to date have focused on pronounced
extroversion or introversion. Despite the numerous efforts to that
survey those dimensions, hardly any separate analyses exist for the
middle 50 percent of people. Kaufman regrets this failing in his
field: “It is good scientific practice to look at the entire range
of values,” he says. “But many people prefer to look for simple
answers to the question of why people feel, think and act the way
they do.” Focusing on the extremes, in other words, makes certain
research projects easier.
Another danger is that people may reduce themselves and others to
an extreme end of the introvert-extrovert spectrum if they don’t
understand the gradations that can exist. As a result, they may be
more convinced that they are either introverted or extroverted and
that these concepts are innate, unchanging and inflexible. In the
process, people lose sight of human complexity, which is “full of
personality traits that can contradict each other,” Kaufman
says.
In fact, personality is not set in stone. Where we locate ourselves
on a dimension such as introversion-extroversion can change over
the years, as a review of 152 longitudinal studies found in 2000.
Personality traits did become more stable with age but only reached
the highest level of consistency after age 50.
Whether one is introverted, extroverted or ambiverted, their best
bet is to accentuate the positives of their personality. “If you
want to be happy, you should first and foremost accept yourself, as
research has shown us,” Kaufman says.
Another danger is that people may reduce themselves and others to
an extreme end of the introvert-extrovert spectrum if they don’t
understand the gradations that can exist. As a result, they may be
more convinced that they are either introverted or extroverted and
that these concepts are innate, unchanging and inflexible. In the
process, people lose sight of human complexity, which is “full of
personality traits that can contradict each other,” Kaufman
says.
In fact, personality is not set in stone. Where we locate ourselves
on a dimension such as introversion-extroversion can change over
the years, as a review of 152 longitudinal studies found in 2000.
Personality traits did become more stable with age but only reached
the highest level of consistency after age 50.
Whether one is introverted, extroverted or ambiverted, their best
bet is to accentuate the positives of their personality. “If you
want to be happy, you should first and foremost accept yourself, as
research has shown us,” Kaufman says.
Baier, for example, is happy not to belong to either extreme. At
work, he usually has no problem speaking his mind. He grew up with
six siblings and didn’t have his own room until he was 11 years
old, so he is used to being surrounded by lots of people. Baier
still remembers looking for ways to have a little time to himself
as a child, however. When things got too busy for him at home, he
would go for long walks with the family dog. He is still drawn to
the great outdoors when he wants some time to himself. These short
breaks are important to Baier. Too many plans and meetings
overwhelm him. “Being able to be spontaneous is important to me,”
he says.