《神探夏洛克》剧本整理(英文版）——第一季 第一集
2014-02-15 10:17阅读：
SHERLOCK HOLMES
Season One
NO.1
THERAPIST: How's your blog going?
JOHN: Yeah, good, very good.
You haven't
written a word, have you? You just wrote 'still has trust
issues'.
THERAPIST: And you read my writing upside down.
You see what I mean?
John, you're a soldier and it's going to
take you a while to adjust to
civilian life and writing a blog
about everything that happens to you will
honestly help you.
JOHN: Nothing happens to me.
Octo
ber 12th
JEFFERY PATTERSON: What do you mean there's no ruddy
car?
JEFFERY's wife: He went to Waterloo, I'm sorry. Get a
cab!
JEFFERY PATTERSON: I never get cabs!
JEFFERY's wife: I love you.
JEFFERY PATTERSON: When?
JEFFERY's wife: Get a cab!
POLICEWOMAN: My husband was a happy man who lived life to the
full. He loved his
family and his
work, and that he should have taken his own life in
this
way is a mystery
and a shock t all who knew him.
November 26th
JAMES PHILLIMORE: Taxi, taxi!
I'll be just two minutes,
mate.
JAMES' friend: What?
JAMES PHILLIMORE: I'm just going home to get my
umbrella.
JAMES' friend: You can share mine.
JAMES PHILLIMORE: Two minutes, all
right?
NEWSPAPER: Boy, 18, kills himself inside sports
centre
January 27th
MAN: She still dancing?
WOMAN: Yeah, if you can call it that.
MAN: Did you get the car keys of her?
WOMAN: Get them out of her bag.
MAN: Where is she?
SALLY: The body of Beth Davenpert, Junior Minister
for Transport, was found late last
night on a building site in Greater London. Preliminary
investigations suggest
that
this was suicide. We can confirm that this apparent suicide
closely
resembles those of Sir Jeffrey Patterson and James Phillimore. In
the light of
this, these incidents are now being treated as linked. The
investigation is
ongoing but Detective Inspector Lestrade will take questions
now.
JOURNALIST 1: Detective Inspector, how can suicides
be linked?
LESTRADE: Well, they all took the same poison. They
were all found in places they had
no reason to be. None of them had shown any
prior indication.
JOURNALIST 1: But you can't have serial
suicides.
LESTRADE: Well, apparently you can.
JOURNALIST 2: These three people, there;s nothing
that links them?
LESTRAED: There's no link we've found yet but we're
looking for it. There has to be
one.
TEXT to all: Wrong!
SALLY: If you've all got texts, please ignore
them.
JOURNALIST 1: It just says 'Wrong'.
SALLY: Well, just igonre that. If there are no more
questions, I'm going to bring this
session to an end.
JOURNALIST 2: If they're suicides, what are you
investigating?
LESTRADE: As I say, these suicides are clearly
linked. It's an unusual situation,
we've got our best people
investigating.
TEXT to all: Wrong!
JOURNALIST 2: Says 'Wrong' again.
SALLY: One more question.
JOURNALIST 3: Is there any chance that these are
murders? And if they are, is this the
work of a
serial killer?
LESTRADE: I know that you like writing about these
but these do appear to be suicdes.
We know the difference. The poison was
clearly self-administered.
JOURNALIST 3: Yes, but if they are murders, how do
people keep themselves safe?
LESTRADE: Well, don't commit suicide.
SALLY: Daliy mail!
LESTRAED: This is a frightening time for people but
all anyone has to do is exercise
reasonable precautions. We are all as safe
as we want to be.
TEXT to all: Wrong!
TEXT to Lestrade: You konw where to find me.
SH
LESTRADE: Thank you.
SALLY: You've got to stop him doing that. He's
making us look like idiots.
LESTRADE: If you can tell me how he does it, I'll
stop him.
MIKE STANFORD: John! John Watson!
Stanford, Mike Stanford. We were at Barts together.
JOHN: Yes, sorry, yes, Mike. Hello!
MIKE STANFORD: Yes, I know, I got fat.
JOHN: No, no.
MIKE STANFORD: I heard you were abroad somewhere
getting shot at. What happened?
JOHN: I got shot.
Are you
still at Barts then?
MIKE STANFORD: Teaching now, yeah, bright young
things like we used to be. God, I hate
them. What abot you, just staying in town till you get yourself
sorted?
JOHN: I can't afford London on an Army
pension.
MIKE STANFORD: Couldn't bear to be anywhere else.
That's not the John Watson I know.
JOHN: I'm not the John Watson.
MIKE STANFORD: Couldn't Harry help?
JOHN: Yeah, like that's going to
happen.
MIKE STANFORD: I don't know, get a flatshare or
something?
JOHN: Who'd want me for a flatmate?
Mike Stanford laugh.
JOHN: Waht?
MIKE STANFORD: You're the second person to say that
to me today.
JOHN: Who's the first?
SHERLOCK: How fresh?
MOLLY: Just in. 67, natural causes. Used to work
hre. I knew him, he was nice.
SHERLOCK: Fine. We'll start with the riding
crop.
MOLLY: So, bad day was it?
SHERLOCK: I need to know waht bruises form in the
next 20 minutes. A man's dlibi
depends on it. Text me.
MOLLY: Listen, I was wondering. Maybe later, whe
you're finished...
SHERLOCK: You're wearing lipstick. You weren't
wearing lipstick before.
MOLLY: I refreshed it a bit.
SHERLOCK: Sorry, you were saying?
MOLLY: I was wondering if you'd like to have
coffee?
SHERLOCK: Black, two sugars, please. I'll be
upstairs.
MOLLY: OK.
JOHN: Bit different from my day.
MIKE STANFORD: You've no idea!
SHERLOCK: Mike, can I borrow your phone? There's no
signal on mine.
MIKE STANFORD: And what's wrong with the
landline?
SHERLOCK: I prefer to text.
MIKE STANFORD: Sorry, it's in my coat.
JOHN: Here, use mine.
SHERLOCK: Oh, thank you.
MIKE STANFORD: This is an old friend of mine, John
Watson.
SHERLOCK: Afghanistan or Iraq?
JOHN: Sorry?
SHERLOCK: Which was it, in Afghanistan or
Iraq?
JOHN: Afgahanistan, sorry, how did you
know?
SHERLOCK: Ah! Molly, coffee, thank you.
What happened to the lipstick?
MOLLY: It wasn't working for me.
SHERLOCK: Really? It was a big improvement. Your
mouth's too small now.
MOLLY: OK.
SHERLOCK: How do you feel about the
violin?
JOHN: I'm sorry, what?
SHERLOCK: I play the violin when I'm thinking and
sometimes I don't talk for days on
end. Would that bother you? Potential
flatmates should know the worst about
each other.
JOHN: You told him about me?
MIKE STANFORD: Not a word.
JOHN: Who said anything about
flatmates?
SHERLOCK: I did. Told Mike this morning that I must
be a difficult man to find a
flatmate for. Now here he is just after
lunch with an old friend clearly
just home from military service in
Afghanistan. Wasn't a difficult leap.
JOHN: How did you know about
Afghanistan?
SHERLCK: Got my eye on a nice little place in
central London. We ought to be able to
afford it. We'll meet there tomorrow evening,
seven o'clock. Sorry, got a
dash. I think I left my tiding crop in the
mortuary.
JOHN: Is that it?
SHERLOCK: Is that what?
JOHN: We've only just met and we're going to go and look at a
flat?
SHERLOCK: Problem?
JOHN: We don't know a thing about each other. I
don't know where we're meeting, I
don't even
know your name.
SHERLOCK: I know you're an Army doctor and you've
been invalided home from
Afghanistan. You've got a brother worried
about you but you won't go to him
for help because you don't approve of him,
possibly because he's an
alcoholic, more likely because he recently
walked out on his wife. And I
know that your therapist thinks your limp's
psychosomatic, quite correctly,
I'm afraid. That's enough to be going on
with, don't you think?
The name's Sherlock Holmes and the
address is 221B Baker Street.
Afternoon.
MIKE STANFORD: Yeah, he's always like that.
TEXT(Sherlock send through John's phone): If brother
has green ladder arrest brother.
SH
BAKER STREET W1 CITY OF
WESTMINSTER
SHERLOCK: Hello.
JOHN: Ah, Mr. Holmes.
SHERLOCK: Sherlock, please.
JOHN: Well, this is a prime spot. Must be
expensive.
SHERLOC: Mrs. Hudson, the landlady—she's given me a
special deal. Owes me a favour. A
few years back, her husband got himself sentenced
to death in Florida. I was
able to help out.
JOHN: Sorry, you stopped her husband being
executed?
SHERLOCK: Oh, no, I ensured it.
MRS HUDSON: Sherlock!
SHERLOCK: Mrs. Hudson, Dr. John Watson.
MRS HUDSON: Hello. Come in.
JOHN: Thank you.
SHERLOCK: Shall we...?
JOHN: Well, this could be very nice. Very nice
indeed.
SHERLOCK: Yes. Yes, I think so, my thoughts
precisely. So I went straight ahead and
moved in.
Soon as we get all this rubbish cleaned
out...
JOHN: So this is all...
SHERLOCK: Well, obviously I can... straighten things
up a bit.
JOHN: That's a skull.
SHERLOCK: Friend of mine. When I say
friend...
MRS HUDSON: What do you think, then, Dr. Watson?
There's another bedroom upstairs, if
you'll be needing two
bedrooms.
JOHN: Of course we'll be needing two.
MRS HUDSON: Don't worry, there's all sorts round
here. Mrs. Turner next door's got
married ones.
Oh... Sherlock! The mess
you've made.
JOHN: I looked you up on the internet last
night.
SHERLOCK: Anything interesting?
JOHN: Found your website. The Science of
Deduction.
SHERLOCK: What did you think?
JOHN: You said you could identify a software
designer by his tie and an airline pilot
by his left
thumb?
SHERLOCK: Yes. And I can read your military career
in your face and your leg, and your
brother's drinking habits on your mobile
phone.
JOHN: How?
MRS HUDSON: What about these suicides then,
Sherlock? I thought that'd be right up
your street. Three exactly
the same.
SHERLOCK: Four. There's been a fourth. And there's
something different this time.
MRS HUDSON: A fourth?
SHERLOCK: Where?
LESTRAED: Brixton, Laurison Gardens.
SHERLOCK: What's new about this one? You wouldn't
have come to me otherwise.
LESTRADE: You know how they never leave
notes?
SHERLOCK: Yeah.
LESTRAED: This one did. Will you come?
SHERLOCK: Who's on forensics?
LESTRADE: Anderson.
SHERLOCK: He doesn't work well with me.
LESTRADE: Well, he won't be your
assistant.
SHERLOCK: I NEED an assistant.
LESTRADE: Will you come?
SHERLOCK: Not in a police car, I'll be right
behind.
LESTRADE: Thank you.
SHERLOCK: Brilliant! Yes!
Four serial suicides, and now a
note.
Oh, it's Christmas.
Mrs. Hudson, I'll be late. Might need some
food.
MRS HUDSON: I'm your landlady, dear, not your
housekeeper.
SHERLOCK: Something cold will do. John, have a cup
of tea, make yourself at home.
Don't wait up!
MRS HUDSON: Look at him, dashing
about...
My husband was just the
same. But you're more the sitting-down type, I can
tell. I'll make you that
cuppa, you rest your leg.
JOHN: Damn my leg!
Sorry, I'm
so sorry - It's just sometimes this bloody thing...
MRS HUDSON: I understand, dear, I've got a
hip.
JOHN: Cup of tea'd be lovely. Thank
you.
MRS HUDSON: Just this once, dear, I'm not your
housekeeper.
JOHN: Couple of buscuits too, if you've
got'em.
MRS HUDSON: Not your housekeeper!
SHERLCOK: You're a doctor. In fact you're an Army
doctor.
JOHN: Yes.
SHERLOCK: Any good?
JOHN: Very good.
SHERLOCK: Seen a lot of injuries, then. Violent
deaths.
JOHN: Well, yes.
SHERLOCK: Bit of trouble too, I bet?
JOHN: Of course. Yes. Enough for a lifetime, far too
much.
SHERLOCK: Want to see some more?
JOHN: Oh, God, yes.
SHERLOCK: Sorry Mrs. Hudson, I'll skip the tea. Off
out.
MRS HUDSON: Both of you?
SHERLOCK: Impossible suicides? Four of them? No
point sitting at home when there's
finally something fun going
on!
MRS HUDSON: Look at you, all happy. It's not
decent.
SHERLOCK: Who cares about decent? The game, Mrs.
Hudson, is on!
SHERLOCK: Taxi!
SHERLCOK: OK. You've got questions...
JOHN: Yeah, where are we going?
SHERLOCK: Crime scene. Next?
JOHN: Who are you, what do you do?
SHERLOCK: What do you think?
JOHN: I'd say...private detective.
SHERLOCK: But?
JOHN: But police don't go to private
detectives.
SHERLOCK: I'm a consulting detective. Only one in
the world, I invented the job.
JOHN: What does that mean?
SHERLCOK: Means when the police are out of their
depth, which is always, they consult
me.
JOHN: The police don't consult
amateurs.
SHERLOCK: When I met you for the first time
yesterday, I said Afghanistan or Iraq. You
looked surprised.
JOHN: Yes, how DID you know?
SHERLOCK: I didn't know, I saw.
Your haircut, the way you hold yourself
says military.
But your conversation...-Bit different from
my day...said trained at Barts.
So Army doctor, obvious. Your face is
tanned...but no tan above the wrists.
You've been abroad, but not sunbathing.
Your limp's really bad when you
walk, but you don't ask for a chair when
you stand so it's at least partly
psychosomatic. That's says the original
circumstances of the injury were
traumatic - wounded in action then. Wounded
in action, suntan - Afghanistan
or Iraq.
JOHN: You said I had a therapist.
SHERLOCK: You've got a psychosomatic limp, of course
you've got a therapist.
Then there's your brother. Your phone. It's
expensive, e-mail enabled, MP3
player. And you're looking for a flatshare.
You wouldn't buy this - it;s a
gift. Scratches. Not one, many over time -
it's been in the same pocket as
keys and coins. You wouldn't treat your one
luxury item like this, so it's
had a previous owner. Next bit's easy. You
know it already.
JOHN: The engrawing?
SHERLOCK: Harry Watson. Clearly a family member
who's given you his old phone. Not
your father, this is a young man's gadget.
Could be a cousin, but you're a
war hero who can't find a place to live
unlikely you've got an extended
family, certainly was one you're close to.
So brother it is. Clara, who's
Clara? Three kisses says it's a romantic
attachment. The expense of the
phone says wife, not girlfriend. Must have
given it to him recently, it's
only six months old. Marriage in trouble
then - six minths on he's given it
away. If she'd left HIM, he would have kept
it. People do ti, sentiment. No,
he wanted rid of it. He left HER. He gave
the phone to you, so he wants to
stay in touch. You're looking for cheap
accommodation, but you are not going
to your brother for help that says you've
got problems with him. Maybe you
liked his wife, or don't like his
drinking.
JOHN: How can you possibly know about the
drinking?
SHERLOCK: Shot in the dark. Good one, though. Power
connection - tiny little scuff
marks round it. Every night he plugs it in
but his hands are shaking. You
never see those marks on a sober man's
phone, never see a drunk's without
them. There you go, you see, you were
right.
JOHN: I was right? Right about what?
SHERLOCK: The police don't consult
amateurs.
JOHN: That...was amazing.
SHERLOCK: Do you think so?
JOHN: Of course it was. It was extraordinary, it was
quite extraodinary.
SHERLOCK: That's not what people normally
say.
JOHN: What do people normally say?
SHERLOCK: Piss off!
SHERLOCK: Did I get anything wrong?
JOHN: Harry and me don't get on, never have, Clara
and Harry split up three months
ago
and they're getting a divorce, and Harry is a
drinker.
SHERLOCK: Spot on, then. I didn't expect to be right
about everything.
JOHN: Harry's short for Harriet.
SHERLOCK: Harry's your sister.
JOHN: Look, what exactly am I supposed to be doing
here?
SHERLOCK: Sister!
JOHN: No, seriously, what am I doing
here?
SHERLOCK: There's always something.
SALLY: Hello, freak!
SHERLOCK: I 'm here to see Detective Inspector
Lestrade.
SALLY: Why?
SHERLOCK: I was invited.
SALLY: Why?
SHERLOCK: I think he wants me to take a
look.
SALLY: Well, you knwo what I think, don't
you?
SHERLOCK: Always, Sally. I even know you didn't make
it home last night.
SALLY: I don't... Who's this?
SHERLOCK: Colleague of mine, Dr.
Watson.
Dr. Watson, Sergeant Sally Donovan. Old
friend.
SALLY: A colleague? How do YOU get a
colleague?
Did
he follow you home?
JOHN: Would it be better if I just
waited...
SHERLOCK: No.
SALLY: Freak's here. Bringing him in.
SHERLOCK: Ah, Anderson. Here we are
again,
ANDERSON: It's a crime scene. I don't want it
contaminated. Are we clear on that?
SHERLOCK: Quite clear. And is your wife away for
long?
ANDERSON: Oh, don't pretend you worked that out.
Somebody told you that.
SHERLOCK: Your deodorant told me that.
ANDERSON: My deodorant?
SHERLOCK: It's for men.
ANDERSON: Well, of course it's for men - I'm wearing
it.
SHERLOCK: So's Sergeant Donovan.
Ooh...I think it just vaporised. May I go
in?
ANDERSON: Whatever you're trying to
imply...
SHERLOCK: I'm not implying anything. I'm sure Sally
came round for a nice little chat,
and just happened to stay over. And I
assume she scrubbed your floors, going
by the state of her knees.
LESTRADE: You'll need to wear one of
those.
Who's this?
SHERLOCK: He's with me.
LESTRADE: But who is he?
SHERLOCK: I said he's with me.
JOHN: Aren't you going to put one on?
SHERLOCK: So where are we?
LESTRADE: Upstairs.
LESTARDE: I can give you two minutes.
SHERLOCK: May need longer.
LESTRADE: Her name's Jennifer Wilson according to
her credit cards, we're running them
now for contact details.
Hasn't been here long. Some kids found
her.
SHERLOCK: Shut up.
LESTRAED: I didn't say anything.
SHERLOCK: You were thinking. It's
annoying.
(On the floor) R,A,C,H,E
LESTRADE: Got anything?
SHERLOCK: Not much.
ANERSON: She's German.
Rache. It's German for revenge. She could be trying
to tell us something...
SHERLOCK: Yes, thank you for your
input.
LESTRADE: So she's German?
SHERLOCK: Of course she's not. She's from out of
town though. Intended to stay in
London for one night before returning home
to Cardiff. So far, so obvious.
JOHN: Sorry - obvious?
LESTRADE: What about the message
though?
SHERLOCK: Dr. Watson, what do you
think?
JOHN: Of the message?
SHERLOCK: Of the body. You're a medical
man.
LESTRADE: We have a whole team right
outside.
SHERLOCK: They won't work with me.
LESTRADE: I'm breaking every rule letting you in
here...
SHERLOCK: Yes...because you need me.
LESTRADE: Yes, I do. God help me.
SHERLOCK: Dr. Watson!
LESTRADE: Oh, do as he says. Help
yourself.
Anderson, keep everyone our for a couple of
minutes...
JOHN: What am I doing here?
SHERLOCK: Helping me make a point.
JOHN: I'm supposed t be helping you pay the
rent.
SHERLOCK: This is more fun.
JOHN: Fun? There's a woman lying dead.
SHERLOCK: Perfectly sound analysis, but I was hoping
you'd go deeper.
JOHN: Asphyxiation, probably. Passed out, choked in
her own vonit. Can't smell any
alcohol on
her. It could have been a seizure. Possibly drugs.
SHERLOCK: You know what it was, you've read the
papers.
JOHN: Well, she's one of the suicides. The
fourth...?
LESTRADE: Sherlock - two minutes, I said, I need
anything you got.
SHERLOCK: Victim is in her late 30s. Profossional
person, going by her clothes - pink.
Travelled from Cardiff today intending to
stay in London one night. It's
obvious from the size of her
suitcase.
LESTRADE: Suitcase?
SHERLOCK: Suitcase. Yes. She's been married at least
ten years, but not happily. She's
had a string of lovers but none of them
knew she was married.
LESTRADE: Oh, for God's sake, if you're just making
this up...
SHERLOCK: Her wedding ring. Ten years old at least.
The rest of her jewellery has been
regulary cleaned, but not her wedding ring.
Status of her marriage, right
there. The inside of the ring is shinier
than the outside. That means it's
regulary removed. The only polishing it
gets is when she works it off her
finger. It's not for work, look at her
nails. She doesn't work with her
hands, so what or other who does she remove
her rings for? Clearly not one
lover, she'd never sustain the fiction of
being single for that matter of
time, so more likely a string of them.
Simple.
JOHN: Brilliant.
Sorry.
LESTRADE: Cardiff?
SHERLOCK: It's obvious, isn't it?
JOHN: It's not obvious to me.
SHERLOCK: Dear God, what is it like in your funny
little brains, it must be so boring.
Her coat - it's slightly damp, she's been
in heavy rain the last few hours -
no rain anywhere in London in that time.
Under her coat collar is damp too.
She's turned it up against the wind. She's
got an umbrella in her left
pocket but it's dry and unused. Not just
wind, strong wind - too strong to
use her umbrella. We know from her suitcase
that she was intending to stay
overnight so she must come from a decent
distance but she can't have
travelled more than two or three hours
because her coat still hasn't dried.
So - where has there been heavy rain and
strong wind within the radius of
that travel time? Cardiff.
JOHN: Fantastic.
SHERLOCK: Do you know you do that out
loud?
JOHN: Sorry, I'll shut up.
SHERLOCK: No, it's...fine.
LESTRADE: Why do you keep saying
suitcase?
SHERLOCK: Yes, where is it? She must have had a
phone or an oraniser.
Find out who Rachel is.
LESTRADE: She was writing Rachel?
SHERLOCK: No, she was leaving an angry note in
German - of course she was writing
Rachel, no other word it can be. The
question is why did she wait until she
was dying to write it?
LESTRADE: How do you know she had a
suitcase?
SHERLOCK: Back to the right leg, tiny splash marks
on her hecling calf, not present on
the left. She was dragging a wheeled
suitcase behind her with her right
hand, get that splash pattern on the other
way. Smallish case, going by the
spread. Case that size, womn this clothes -
conscious - could only be an
overnight bag so we know she was staying
one night. Where is it, what have
you done with it?
LESTRADE: There wasn't a case.
SHERLOCK: Say that again.
LESTRADE: There wasn't a case. There was never any
suitcase.
SHERLOCK: Suitcase! Did anyone find a suitcase? Was
there a suitcase in this house?
LESTRADE: Sir, there was no case!
SHERLOCK: But they take the poison themselves, they
choose swallow the pills
themselves. There are clear signs, even you
lot couldn't miss them.
LESTRADE: Right, thanks. And...
SHERLOCK: It's murder, all of them. I don't know
how. But they'er not suicides,
they're killings, they're serial killings.
We've got ourselves a serial
killer. I'd love those. There's always
something to look forward to.
LESTRADE: Why are you saying that?
SHERLOK: Her case! Come on, where is her case? Did
she eat it? Someone else was here,
and they took her case. So the killer must
have driven here. Forgot the case
in the car.
JOHN: She could have checked into a hotel, left it
there.
SHERLOCK: No, she never got to the hotel, look at
her hair. She color-coordinates her
lipstick and her shoes. She'd never have
left any hotel with her hair still
looking...
LESTRADE: Sherlock? What is it, what?
SHERLOCK: Serial killers, always hard. You have to
wait for them to make a mistake.
LESTRADE: We don't just wait!
SHERLOCK: Oh, we're done waiting. Look at her,
really look! Havston, we have a
mistake. Get on to Cardiff. Find out who
Jennifer Wilson's family and
friends were. Find Rachel!
LESTRADE: Of course, yeah - but what
mistake?
SHERLOCK: Pink!
ANDERSON: Let's get on with it...
SALLY: He's gone.
JOHN: Sherlock Holmes?
SALLY: Yeah, he just took off. He does
that.
JOHN: Is he coming back?
SALLY: Didn't look like it.
JOHN: Right. Right...
Yes. Sorry,
where am I?
SALLY: Brixton.
JOHN: Do you know where I could get a cab? It's just
er...well...my leg.
SALLY: Try the main road.
JOHN: Thanks.
SALLY: But you're not his friend. He doesn't have
friends. So who are you?
JOHN: I'm....I'm nobody. I just met
him.
SALLY: OK, bit of advice then. Stay away from that
guy.
JOHN: Why?
SALLY: You know why he's here? He's not paid or
anything. He likes it. He gets off on
it.
The weirder the crime, the more he gets off. And you know what...?
One day
just
showing up won't be enough. One day we'll be standing round a body
and
Sherlock Holmes'll be the one that put it there.
JOHN: Why would he do that?
SALLY: Because he's a psychopath. Psychopaths get
bored.
LESTRADE: Donovan!
SALLY: Coming.
Stay
away from Sherlock Holmes.
JOHN: Taxi! Taxi...
JOHN: Hello?
MYCROFT: There is a security camera on the building
to your left. Do you see it?
JOHN: Who's this? Who's speaking?
MYCROFT: Do you see the camera, Dr.
Watson?
JOHN: Yeah, I see it.
MYCROFT: Watch...
There is another camera on the building opposite
you. Do you see it? And
finally, at the top of the building on your
right.
JOHN: How are you doing this?
MYCROFT: Get into the car, Dr. Watson. I would make
some sort of threat, but I'm sure
your situation is quite clear to you.
JOHN: Hello.
ANTHEA: Hi.
JOHN: What's your name, then?
ANTHEA: Er...Anthea.
JOHN: Is that your real name?
ANTHEA: No.
JOHN: I'm John.
ANTHEA: Yes, I know.
JOHN: Any point in asking...where I'm
going?
ANTHEA: None at all...John.
JOHN: OK.
MYCROFT: Have a seat, John.
JOHN: You know, I've got a phone. I mean, very
clever and all that, but er...you could
just phone
me. On my phone.
MYCROFT: When one is avoiding the attention of
Sherlock Holmes, one learns to be
discreet, hence this place. Your leg must be
hurting you. Sit down.
JOHN: I don't want to sit down.
MYCROFT: You don't seem very afraid.
JOHN: You don't seem very frightening.
MYCROFT: Yes... The bravery of the soldier. Bravery
is by far the kindest word for
stupidity, don't you think? What is your connection
to Sherlock Holmes?
JOHN: I don't have one. I barely know him, I met
him...yesterday.
MYCROFT: And since yesterday you've moved in with
him and now you're solving crimes
together. Might we expect a happy announcement by
the end of the week?
JOHN: Who are you?
MYCROFT: An interested party.
JOHN: Interested in Sherloce? Why? I'm guessing
you're not friends.
MYCROFT: You've met him. How many friends do you
imagine he has?
I am the closest thing to a friend that Sherlcok
Holmes is capable of having.
JOHN: And what's that?
MYCROFT: An enemy.
JOHN: An enemy?
MYCROFT: In HIS mind, certainly. If you were to ask
him, he'd probably say his
arch-enemy. He does love to be
dramatic.
JOHN: Well, thank God. You're above all
that.
TEXT of John: Baker Street. Come at once of
convenient. SH
MYCROFT: I hope I'm not distracting
you.
JOHN: Not distracting me at all.
MYCROFT: Do you plan to continue your association
with Sherlock Holmes?
JOHN: I could be wrong...but I think that's none of
your business.
MYCROFT: It could be.
JOHN: It really couldn't.
MYCROFT: If you DO move into, erm...221B Baker
Street, I'd be happy to pay you a
meaningful sum of money on a regular basis to ease
your way.
JOHN: Why?
MYCROFT: Because you're not a wealthy
man.
JOHN: In exchange for what?
MYCROFT: Information. Nothing indiscreet. Nothing
you'd feel...uncomfortable with.
Just tell me what he's up to.
JOHN: Why?
MYCROFT: I worry about him. Constantly.
JOHN: That's nice of you.
MYCROFT: But I would prefer for various reasons that
my concern go unmentioned, we
have what you might call a...difficult
relationship.
TEXT of John: If inconveinent, come anyway.
SH
JOHN: No.
MYCROF: But I haven't mentioned a
figure.
JOHN: Don't bother.
MYCROFT: You're very loyal VERY
quickly.
JOHN: No, I'm not, I'm just not
interested.
MYCROFT: 'Trust issues'...it says here.
JOHN: What's that?
MYCROFT: Could it be that you've decided to trust
Sherlcok Holmes of all people?
JOHN: Who says I trust him?
MYCROFT: You don't seem the kind to make friends
easily.
JOHN: Are we done?
MYCROFT: You tell me.
I imagine people have already warned you to stay
away from him, but I can see
from your left hand that's not going to
happen.
JOHN: My what?
MYCROFT: Show me.
JOHN: Don't...
MYCROFT: Remarkable.
JOHN: What is?
MYCROFT: Most people...blunder round this city, and
all they see are streets and shops
and cars. When you walk with Sherlock Holmes, you
see the battlefield. You've
seen it already. Haven't you?
JOHN: What's wrong with my hand?
MYCROFT: You have an intermitternt tremor in your
left hand. Your therapist thinks
it's post-traumatic stress disorder. She thinks
you're haunted by memories of
your military service.
JOHN: Who the hell are you? How do you know
that?
MYCROFT: Fire her. She's got it the wrong way round.
You're under stress right now and
your hand is perfectly steady. You're not haunted
by the war, Dr. Watson...
You miss it. Welcome back.
Time to choose a side, Dr. Watson.
ANTHEA: I'm to take you home.
TEXT of John: Could be dangerous.
SH
ANTHEA: Adress?
JOHN: Er, Baker Street. 221B Baker
Street.
But I need
to stop off somewhere first.
JOHN: Listen, your boss. Any chance you could not
tell him this is where I went?
ANTHEA: Sure.
JOHN: You've told him already, haven't
you?
ANTHEA: Yeah.
JOHN: Hey erm...do you ever get any free
time?
ANTHEA: Oh, yeah. Lots.
Bye...
JOHN: OK.
JOHN: What are you doing?
SHERLOCK: Nicotine patch. Helps me think. Impossible
to sustain a smoking habit in
London these days. Bad news for brain
work.
JOHN: It's good news for breathing.
SHERLOCK: Oh... Breathing! Breathing's
boring.
JOHN: Is that...three patches?
SHERLOCK: It's a three-patch problem.
JOHN: Well...? You asked me to come, I'm assuming
it's important.
SHERLOCK: Oh-yeah, of course. Can I borrow your
phone? My phone? Always a chance that
my number will be recognised. It's on the
website.
JOHN: Mrs. Hudson's got a phone.
SHERLOCK: Yes, she's downstairs. I tried shouting
but she didn't hear.
JOHN: I WAS the other side of London...
SHERLOCK: There was no hurry.
JOHN: Here...
So what's
this about - the case?
SHERLOCK: Her case...
JOHN: HER case?
SHERLOCK: Her suitcase, yes, obviously. The murderer
took her suitcase, first big
mistake.
JOHN: OK, he took her case. So?
SHERLOCK: It's no use, there's no other way. We'll
have to risk it.
Oh my desk, there's a number. I want you to
send a text.
JOHN: You've brought me here...to send a
text.
SHERLOCK: Text, yes. The number on my
desk.
What's wrong?
JOHN: Just met a friend of yours.
SHERLOCK: A friend?
JOHN: An enemy.
SHERLOCK: Oh. Which one?
JOHN: Well, your arch-enemy, according to him. Do
people have arch-enemies?
SHERLOCK: Did he offer you money to spy on
me?
JOHN: Yes.
SHERLOCK: Did you take it?
JONH: No.
SHERLOCK: Pity, we could have split the fee. Think
it through next time.
JOHN: Who is he?
SHERLOCK: The most dangerous man you've ever met,
and not my problem right now. On my
desk, the number!
JOHN: Jennifer Wilson. That was... Hang on. Wasn't
that the dead woman?
SHERLOCK: Yes. That's not important. Just enter the
number.
Are you doing it?
JOHN: Yes.
SHERLOCK: Have you done it?
JOHN: Yeah - hang on!
SHERLOCK: These words exactly. 'What happened at
Lauriston Gardens? I must have
blacked out. 22 Northumberland Street,
please come.'
JOHN: You blacked out?
SHERLOCK: What? No... No!
Type and send it. Quickly.
Have you sent it?
JOHN: What's the address?
SHERLOCK: 22 Northumberland Street. Hurry
up!
JOHN: That's... That's the pink lady's case, that's
Jennifer Wilson's case.
SHERLOCK: Yes, obviously. Oh, perhaps I should
mention I didn't kill her.
JOHN: I never said you did.
SHERLOCK: Why not? Given that text and the fact I
have her case. It's a perfectly
logical assumption.
JOHN: Do people usually assume you're the
murderer?
SHERLOCK: Now and then, yes.
JOHN: OK...
How did you
get this?
SHERLOCK: By looking.
JOHN: Where?
SHERLOCK: The killer must have driven her to
Lauriston Gardens. He could only keep her
case by accident if it was in the car.
Nobady could be seen with this case
without drawing attention - particularly a
man, which is statistically more
likely. So obviously he'd feel compelled to
get rid of it. Wouldn't have
taken him more than five minutes to realise
his mistake. I checked every
backstreet wide enough for a car five
minutes from Lauriston Gardens, and
anywhere you could dispose of a bulky
object without being observed. Took me
less than an hour to find the right
skip.
JOHN: Pink. You got all that because you realised
the case would be pink?
SHERLOCK: It had to be pink, obviously.
JOHN: Why didn't I think of that?
SHERLOCK: Because you're an idiot.
No, no, no, don't look like that.
Parctically everyone is.
Now, look. Do you see what's
missing?
JOHN: From the case? How could I?
SHERLCOK: Her phone. Where's her mobile phone? There
was no phone on the body, there's
no phone in the case. We know she had one.
You just texted it.
JOHN: Maybe she left it at home.
SHERLOCK: She has a string of lovers and she's
careful about it. She never leaves her
phone at home.
JOHN: Why did I just send that text?
SHERLOCK: Well, the question is where is her phone
NOW?
JOHN: She could have lost it.
SHERLOCK: Yes, or?
JOHN: The murderer... You think the murderer has the
phone?
SHERLOCK: Maybe she...left it when she left her
case. Maybe he took it from her for
some reason. Either way, the balance of
probability is the murderer has her
phone.
JOHN: Sorry...what are we doing - Did I just text a
murderer? What good will that do?
John's phone: (Withheld) calling
SHERLOCK: A few hours after his last victim, and now
he recevies a text that can only
be from her. If somebody had just found
that phone they'd ignore a text like
that, but the murderer...would
panic.
JOHN: Have you talked to the police?
SHERLOCK: Four people are dead, there isn't time to
talk to police.
JOHN: So why are you talking to me?
SHERLOCK: Mrs. Hudson took my skull.
JOHN: So I'm basically filling in for your
skull?
SHERLOCK: Relax, you're doing fine.
Well?
JOHN: Well, what?
SHERLOCK: Well - you could just sit there
and...watch telly.
JOHN: What, you want me to come with
you?
SHERLOCK: I like company when I go out, and I think
better when I talk aloud. The
skull just attracts attention,
so...
Problem?
JOHN: Yeah, Sergeant Donovan.
SHERLOCK: What about her?
JOHN: She said...you get off on this. You enjoy
it.
SHERLOCK: And I said 'dangerous', and here you
are.
JOHN: Damn it!
JOHN: Where are we going?
SHERLOCK: Northumberland Street's, a five-minute
walk from here.
JOHN: You think he's stupid enough to go
there?
SHERLOCK: No - I think he's brilliant enough. I love
the brilliant ones. They're all
so desperate to get caught.
JOHN: Why?
SHERLOCK: Appreciation! Applause! At long last the
spotlight. That's the frailty of
genius, John, it needs an
audience.
JOHN: Yeah.
SHERLOCK: This is his hunting ground. Right here in
the heart of the city. Now that we
know his victims were abductd, that changes
everything. Because all of his
victims disappeared from busy streets,
crowded palces, but nobody saw them
go.
Think! Who do we trust, even though we
don't know them? Who passes unnoticed
wherever they go? Who hunts in the middle
of a crowd?
JOHN: Don't know, who?
SHERLOCK: Haven't the faintest. Hungry?
SHERLOCK: Thank you, Billy.
22 Northumberland Street. Keep your
eyes on it.
JOHN: He's not just going to ring the doorbell. He'd
need to be mad.
SHERLOCK: He has killed four people.
JOHN: OK.
ANGELO: Sherlock! Anything on the menu, whatever you
want, free.
On the house, for you and for your date.
SHERLOCK: Do you want to eat?
JOHN: I'm not his date.
ANGELO: This man got me off a murder
charge.
SHERLOCK: This is Angelo. Three years ago I proved
to Lestrade at the time of a
particularly vicious triple murder that
Angelo was elsewhere,
house-breaking.
ANGELO: He cleaned my name.
SHERLOCK: I cleaned it a bit. Anything happening
opposite?
ANGELO: Nothing.
But for this man, I'd have gone to prison.
SHERLOCK: You did go to prison.
ANGELO: I'll get a candle for the table. It's more
romantic.
JOHN: I'm not his date!
SHERLOCK: You may as well eat. We might have a long
wait.
JOHN: Thanks.
People don't
have arch-enemies.
SHERLOCK: I'm sorry?
JOHN: In real life. There are no arch-enemies in
real life. Doesn't happen.
SHERLOCK: Doesn't it? Sounds a bit
dull.
JOHN: So who did I meet?
SHERLOCK: What do real people have, then, in
their...'real lives'?
JOHN: Friends? People they know, people they like,
people they don't like...
Girlfriends, boyfriends.
SHERLOCK: Yes, well, as I was saying -
dull.
JOHN: You don't have a girlfriend,
then.
SHERLOCK: Girlfriend? No, not really my
area.
JOHN: Oh, right. Do you have a...boyfriend? Which is
fine, by the way.
SHERLOCK: I know it's fine.
JOHN: So you've got a boyfriend then.
SHERLOCK: No.
JOHN: Right. OK. You're unattached. Like me. Fine.
Good.
SHERLOCK: John, erm...I think you should know that I
cinsider myself married to my
work, and while I'm flattered, I'm really
not looking for any...
JOHN: No, I'm...not asking. No, I'm just saying,
it's all fine.
SHERLOCK: Good. Thank you.
Look across the steet. Taxi. It's stopped.
Nobody getting in, and nobody
getting out. Why a taxi? Oh, that's clever.
Is it clever? Why is it clever?
JONH: That's him.
SHERLOCK: Don't stare.
JOHN: You're staring.
SHERLOCK: We can't both stare.
JOHN: I've got the cab number.
SHERLOCK: Good for you.
Right turn, one way, roadworks, traffic lights, bus
lane, pedestrian
crossing, left turn only, traffic
lights.
JOHN: Sorry.
SHERLOCK: Come on, John...
Come on, John. We're losing
him!
This way.
No. This way!
Sorry...
SHERLOCK: Police! Open her up.
No... Teeth, tan.
What - Californian...? LA, Santa Monica.
Just arrived.
JOHN: How could you possibly know that?
SHERLOCK: The luggage.
Probably your first trip to London, right?
Going by your final destination
and let the cabbie's taking
you.
PASSANGER: Sorry - are you guys the
police?
SHERLOCK: Yeah. Everything all right?
PASSANGER: Yeah.
SHERLOCK: Welcome to London.
JOHN: Er, any problems - just let us
know.
JOHN: Basically just a cab that happened to slow
down.
SHERLOCK: Basically.
JOHN: Not the murderer.
SHERLOCK: Not the murderer, no.
JOHN: Wrong country, good alibi.
SHERLOCK: As they go.
JOHN: Hey, where did you get this?
Detective
Inspector Lestrade?
SHERLOCK: Yeah. I pickpocket him when he's annoying.
You can keep that one, I've got
plenty at the flat.
What?
JONH: Nothing, just...'Welcome to
London'.
SHERLOCK: Got your breath back?
JOHN: Ready when you are.
JOHN: OK... That was ridiculous. That was the most
ridiculous thing...I've ever done.
SHERLOCK: And you invaded Afghanistan.
JOHN: That wasn't just me. Why aren't we back at the
restaurant?
SHERLOCK: They can keep an eye out. It was a long
shot anyway.
JOHN: So what were we doing there?
SHERLOCK: Oh, just passing the time. And proving a
point.
JOHN: What point?
SHERLOCK: You.
Mrs. Hudson! Dr. Watson will take the room
upstairs.
JOHN: Says who?
SHERLOCK: Says the man at the door.
ANGELO: Sherlock texted me. He said you forget
this.
JOHN: Er, thank you. Thank you.
MRS HUDSON: Sherlock, what have you
done?
SHERLOCK: Mrs. Hudson?
MRS HUDSON: Upstairs.
SHERLOCK: What are you doing?
LESTRADE: Well, I know you'd find the case, I'm not
stupid.
SHERLOCK: You can't just break into my
flat.
LESTRADE: You can't withhold evidence - and I didn't
break in.
SHERLOCK: Well, what do you call this
then?
LESTRADE: It's a drugs bust.
JOHN: Seriously? This guy - a junkie? Have you met
him?
SHERLOCK: John...
JOHN: I'm pretty sure you could search this flat all
day, you wouldn't find anything
you could
call recreational.
SHERLOCK: John, you probably want to shut up
now.
JOHN: But come on...
No...
SHERLOCK: What?
JOHN: You?
SHERLOCK: Shut up!
I'm not your sniffer dog.
LESTRADE: No, Anderson's my sniffer
dog.
SHERLOCK: Anderson, what are you doing here on a
drugs bust?
ANDERSON: Oh, I volunteered.
LESTRADE: They all did. They're not strictly
speaking on the drug squad, but they're
very keen.
SALLY: Are these human eyes?
SHERLOCK: Put those back!
SALLY: They were in the microwave.
SHERLOCK: It's an experiment.
LESTRADE: Keep looking, guys.
Or you could help us properly and I'll
stand them dowm.
SHERLOCK: This is childish.
LESTRADE: Well, I'm dealing with a
child.
Sherlock, this is our case. I'm letting you
in, but you do not go off on
your own. Clear?
SHERLOCK: What - so you set up a pretend drugs bust
to bully me?
LESTRADE: It stops being pretend if we find
anything.
SHERLOCK: I am clean!
LESTRADE: Is your flat...? All of it?
SHERLOCK: Don't even smoke.
LESTRADE: Neither do I.
So let's work together.
We've found Rachel.
SHERLOCK: Who is she?
LESTRADE: Jennifer Wilson's only
daughter.
SHERLOCK: Her daughter? Why would she write her
daughter's name? Why?
ANDERSON: Never mind that, we found the case.
According to someone the murderer has
the case, and we found it in the hands of
our favourite psychopath.
SHERLOCK: I'm a high-functioning sociopath. Do your
research.
You need to bring Rachel in and I need to
question her.
LESTRADE: She's dead.
SHERLOCK: Excellent. How, when and why? Is there a
connection? There has to be.
LESTRADE: Well, I doubt it, since she's been dead
for 14 years. Technically she was
never alive. Rachel was Jennifer Wilson's
stillborn daughter, 14 years ago.
SHERLOCK: No, that's...that's not right. How... Why
would she do that? Why?
ANDERSON: Why would she think of her daughter in her
last moments?
Yup - sociopath, I'm seeing it
now.
SHERLOCK: She didn't think about her daughter. She
scratched her name on the floor
with her fingernails. She was dying.
It took effort, it would have hurt.
JOHN: You said that the victims all took the poison
themselves. that he makes them
take it -
well, maybe he...I don't know, talks to them. Maybe he used the
death
of her
daughterr somehow.
SHERLOCK: Yeah, but that was ages ago. Why would she
still be upset?
Not good?
JOHN: Bit not good, yeah.
SHERLOCK: If you were dying... If you'd been
murdered - in your very last few seconds
what would you say?
JOHN: 'Please, God, let me alive'.
SHERLOCK: Use your imagination!
JOHN: I don't have to.
SHERLOCK: Yeah, but if you were clever...really
clever, Jennifer Wilson running all
those lovers - she was clever. She's
trying to tell us something.
MRS HUDSON: Isn't the doorbell working? Your taxi's
here, Sherlock.
SHERLOCK: I didn't order a taxi. Go
away.
MRS HUDSON: Oh, dear. They're making such a mess.
What are they looking for?
JOHN: It's a drugs bust, Mrs. Hudson.
MRS HUDSON: But they're just for my hip. They're
herbal soothers...
SHERLOCK: Shut up, everybody! Don't speak, don't
breathe. I'm trying to think.
Anderson, face the other way. You're
putting me off.
ANDERSON: What? My face is...
LESTRADE: Everybody quiet and still. Anderson, turn
your back.
ANDERSON: Oh, for God's sake!
LESTRADE: You're back, now, please!
SHERLOCK: Come on, think. Quick!
MRS HUDSON: What about your taxi?
SHERLOCK: Mrs. Hudson!
She was clever. Clever, yes! She's cleverer
than you lot and she's dead. Do
you see, do you get it? She didn't lose her
phone, she never lost it. She
planted it on him. When she got out of the
car, she knew that she was going
to her death. She left the phone in order
to lead us to her killer.
LESTRADE: But how?
SHERLOCK: What? What do you mean, how?
Rachel!
Don't you see? Rachel!
Look at you lot. You're all so vacant. Is
it nice not being me? It must be
so relaxing. Rachel is not a
name.
JOHN: Then what is it?
SHERLOCK: John, on the luggage, there's a
label.
E-mail address.
JOHN: Er, jennie.pink@mephone.org.uk.
SHERLOCK: She didn't have a laptop, which means she
did her business on her phone. A
smartphone, it's e-mail enabled. So there
was a website for her account. The
username is her e-mail address - and all
together, the password is?
ANDERSON: Rachel. So we can read her e-mails. So
what?
SHERLOCK: Anderson, don't talk out loud. You lower
the IQ of the whole street. We can
do much more than that. It's a smartphone,
it's got GPS. Which means if you
lose it you can locate it online. She's
leading us directly to the man who
killed her.
LESTRADE: Unless he get rid of it.
JOHN: We know he didn't.
SHERLOCK: Come on, come on. Quickly!
MRS HUDSON: Sherlock, dear. This taxi
driver...
SHERLOCK: Mrs. Hudson, isn't it time for your
evening soother?
Get vehicles, get a helicopter. This phone
battery won't last for ever.
LESTRADE: We'll just have a map reference, not
a name.
SHERLOCK: It's a start!
JOHN: Sherlock...
SHERLOCK: Narrows it down from just anyone in
London. It's the fist proper lead that
we've had.
JOHN: Sherlock...
SHERLOCK: Where is it? Quickly, where?
JOHN: Here. It's...in 221 Baker Street.
SHERLOCK: How can it be here?
How?
LESTRADE: Maybe it was in the case when you brought
it back and it...fell out
somewhere.
SHERLOCK: What, and I didn't notice it?
Me - I didn't notice?
Anyway, we texted him and he called
back.
LESTRADE: Guys, we're also looking for a
mobile somewhere here, belonged to the
victim...
SHERLOCK: Who do we trust, even if we don't
know them? Who passes unnoticed wherever
they go? Who hunts in the middle of a
crowd?
TEXT of Sherlcok: COME WITH ME.
JOHN: Sherlock, you ok?
SHERLOCK: What...?
Yeah, yeah...I'm fine.
JOHN: So, how can the phone be
here?
SHERLOCK: Don't know.
JOHN: I'll try it again.
SHERLOCK: Good idea.
JOHN: Where are you going?
SHERLOCK: Fresh air, just popping for a moment.
Won't be long.
JOHN: You sure you're all right?
SHERLOCK: I'm fine.
TAXI DRIVER: Taxi for Sherlock
Holmes.
SHERLOCK: I didn't order a taxi.
TAXI DRIVER: Doesn't mean you don't need
one.
SHERLOCK: You're the cabbie. The one who stopped
outside Northumberland Street. It
was you. Not your passenger.
TAXI DRIVER: See? No-one ever thinks about
the cabbie. It's like you're invisible.
Just the back of
an'ead. Proper advantage for a serial killer.
SHERLOCK: Is this a confession?
TAXI DRIVER: Oh, yeah. I'll tell you what else...if
you call the coppers now, I won't
run. I'll sit quiet
and they can take me down, I promise.
SHERLOCK: Why?
TAXI DRIVER: Cos you're not going to do
that?
SHERLOCK: Am I not?
TAXI DRIVER: I didn't kill those four
people, Mr. Holmes. I spoke to'em...and they
killed
themselves. If you get the coppers now, I'll promise
you one
thing. I will never
tell you what I said.
SHERLOCK: No-one else will die, though, and I
believe they call that a result.
TAXI DRIVER: And you won't ever understand how those
people died. What kind of result
do you care
about?
SHERLOCK: If I wanted to understand...what would I
do?
TAXI DRIVER: Let me take you for a
ride.
SHERLCOK: So you can kill me too?
TAXI DRIVER: I don't want to kill you, Mr. Holmes.
I'm going to talk to ya...and then
you're going
to kill yourself.
JOHN: He just got in a cab... It's Sherlock. He just
drove off in a cab.
SALLY: I told you, he does that. He bloody left
again. We're wasting our time!
JOHN: I'm...calling the phone, it's ringing
out.
LESTRADE: And if it's ringing, it's
not here.
JOHN: I'll try the search again.
SALLY: Does it matter? Does any of it? He's just a
lunatic, and he'll always let you
down. And you're wasting your time. All our time.
LESTRADE: OK, everybody...done here.
SHERLOCK: How do you find me?
TAXI DRIVER: Oh, I recognised ya. Soon as I
saw you chasing my cab.
Sherlock Holmes! I
was warned about you. I've been on your website, too.
Brilliant stuff!
Loved it.
SHERLOCK: Who warned you about me?
TAXI DRIVER: Just someone out there who's
noticed.
SHERLOCK: Who?
Who would notice me?
TAXI DRIVER: You're too modest, Mr.
Holmes.
SHERLOCK: I'm really not.
TAXI DRIVER: Got yourself a fan.
SHERLOCK: Tell me more.
TAXI DRIVER: That's all you're going to know. In
THIS lifetime.
LESTARDE: Why did he do that? Why did he have to
leave?
JOHN: You know him better than I do.
LESTRADE: I've known him for five years - and no, I
don't.
JOHN: So why do you put up with
him?
LESTRADE: Because I'm desperate, that's
why.
And because Sherlock Holmes is a great man
- and I think one day, if we're
very, very lucky, he might even be a
good one.
SHERLOCK: Where are we?
TAXI DRIVR: You know every street in London.
You know exactly where we are.
SHERLOCK: Roland-Kerr Further Education
College.
Why here?
TAXI DRIVER: It's open. Cleaners are in. One
thing about being a cabbie - you always
know a nice
quiet spot for a murder. I'm surprised more of us don't
branch
out.
SHERLOCK: And you just walk your
victim in? How?
Oh... Dull.
TAXI DRIVER: Don't worry. It gets
better.
SHERLOCK: You can't make people take their own lives
at gunpoint.
TAXI DRIVER: I don't. It's much better than
that.
Don't need this
with you. Cos you'll follow me.
TAXI DRIVER: Well, what do you think?
It's up to
you. You're the one who's going to die here.
SHERLOCK: No, I'm not.
TAXI DRIVER: That's what they all say.
Shall we
talk?
SHERLOCK: Bit risky, wasn't it? Took me away under
the eye of about half a dozen
policemen. They're not that stupid. And
Mrs. Hudson will remember you.
TAXI DRIVER: You call that a risk?
Nah...
This is a
risk.
Oh, I like this
bit. Cos you don't get it yet, do you?
But you're about
to. I just have to do this...
Weren't expecting
that, were ya?
Oh, you're going to
love this.
SHERLOCK: Love what?
TAXI DRIVER: Sherlock Holmes! Look at
you!
Here in the flesh.
That website of yours, your fan told me about it.
SHERLOCK: My fan?
TAXI DRIVER: You are brilliant. You are a proper
genius. The Science of Deduction.
Now, that...is
proper thinking.
Between you and me
sitting here, why can't people think?
Don't it make you
mad?
Why can't people
just think?
SHERLOCK: Oh, I see... So you're a proper genius
too.
TAXI DRIVER: Don't look it, do I?
Funny little man
driving a cab. But you'll know better in a minute.
Chances are it'll
be the last thing you ever know.
SHERLOCK: OK, two bottles. Explain.
TAXI DRIVER: There's a good bottle and a bad
bottle.
You take the pill
from the good bottle, you live.
You take the pill
from the bad bottle...you die.
SHERLOCK: Both bolltes are of course
identical.
TAXI DRIVER: In every way.
SHERLOCK: And you know which is which.
TAXI DRIVER: Of course I know.
SHERLOCK: But I don't.
TAXI DRIVER: Wouldn't be a game if you knew. You're
the one who chooses.
SHERLOCK: Why should I? I've got nothing to go on.
What's in it for me?
TAXI DIREVER: I haven't told you the best bit
yet.
Whatever
bottle you choose, I take the pill from the other one. And
then
together...we take our medicine.
I won't
cheat. It's your choice. I'll take whatever pill you
don't.
Didn't
expect that, did you, Mr. Holmes?
SHERLOCK: This is what you did to the rest of them -
you gave them a choice?
TAXI DRIVER: And now I'm giving you
one.
You take your
time.
Get yourself
together. I want your best game.
SHERLOCK: It's not a game, it's chance.
TAXI DRIVER: I've played four times. I'm
alive.
It's not chance,
Mr. Holmes, it's chess.
It's a game of
chess, with one more...and one survivor.
And this -
this...is the move.
Did I just give you
the good bottle or the bad bottle?
You can choose
either one.
JONH: No, Detective Inspector Lestrade - I need to
speak to him.
It's
important. It's an emergency.
Er, left
here, please. Left here...
TAXI DRIVER: You ready yet, Mr. Holmes? Ready to
play?
SHERLOCK: Play what? It's a 50:50
chance.
TAXI DRIVER: You're not playing the numbers, you're
playing me.
Did I just give you
the good pill or the bad pill?
Is it a bluff, or a
double bluff? Or a triple bluff?
SHERLOCK: It's still just chance.
TAXI DRIVER: Fout people, in a row? It's not
chance.
SHERLOCK: Luck.
TAXI DRIVER: It's genius!
I know how people
think. I know how people think I think.
I can see it all
like a mao inside my head. Everyone's so stupid, even
you. Or maybe God
just loves me.
SHERLOCK: Either way, you're wasted as
cabbie.
So... You risked your life four times just
to kill strangers? Why?
TAXI DRIVER: Time to play.
SHERLOCK: Oh, I am playing. This is my
turn.
There's shaving foam beind your left ear.
Nobody's pointen it out to you.
Traces of where it's happened before, so
obviously you live in your own -
there's no-one to tell you. But there's a
photograph of children. Their
mother's been cut out of the picture. If
she'd died, she'd still be there.
The photograph's old, but the frame's new.
You think of your children, but
you don't get to see them. Estranged
father. She took the kids, but you
still love them and is still
hurts.
Ah, but there's more.
Your clothes. Recently laundered, but
everything you're wearing is at
least...three years old? Keeping up
appearances, but not planning ahead. And
here you are on a kamikaze murder spree.
What's that about? Three years ago.
Is that when they told you?
TAXI DRIVER: Told me what?
SHERLOCK: That you're a dead man
walking.
TAXI DRIVER: So are you.
SHERLOCK: You don't have long, though. Am I
right?
TAXI DRIVER: Aneurism. Right in'ere.
Any breath could be
my last.
SHERLOCK: And because you're dying, you've just
murdered four people.
TAXI DRIVER: I've outlived four people.
That's the most fun
you can have woth an aneurism.
SHERLOCK: No... No, there's something
else.
You didn't just kill four people because
you're better. Bitterness is a
paralytic. Love is a much more vicious
motivator. Somehow, this is about
your children.
TAXI DRIVER: You are good, in't ya?
SHERLOCK: But how?
TAXI DRIVER: When I die they won't get much, my
kids. Not a lot of money in driving
cabs.
SHERLOCK: Or serial killing.
TAXI DRIVER: You'd be surprised.
SHERLOCK: Surprise me.
TAXI DRIVER: I have a sponsor.
SHERLOCK: You have a what?
TAXI DRIVER: For every life I take, money goes to my
kids. The more I kill...the
better off they'll
be.
You see? It's nicer
than you think.
SHERLOCK: Who'd sponsor a serial
killer?
TAXI DRIVER: Who'd be a fan of Sherlock
Holmes?
You're not the only
one to enjoy a good murder. There's others out there
just like you,
except you're just a man. And they're so much more
than
that.
SHERLOCK: What do you mean...more than a man? An
organisation...? What?
TAXI DRIVER: There's a name, that no one says. And
I'm not going to say it either.
Now, enough
chatter. Time to choose.
JOHN: Sherlock!
Sherlock!
SHERLOCK: What if I don't choose either? I could
just walk our of here.
TAXI DRIVER: You can take a 50:50 chance, or I can
shoot you in the head. Funnily
enough, no-one's
ever gone for that potion.
SHERLOCK: I'll have the gun, please.
TAXI DRIVER: Are you sure?
SHERLOCK: Definitely. The gun.
TAXI DRIVER: You don't want to phone a
firend?
SEHRLOCK: The gun.
SHERLOCK: I know a real gun when I see
one.
TAXI DRIVER: Noneof the others did.
SEHRLOCK: Clearly.
Well, this has been very interesting. I
look forward to the court case.
TAXI DRIVER: Just before you go, did you figure it
out?
Which one's the
good bottle?
SEHRLOCK: Course. Child's play.
TAXI DRIVER: Well, which one, then?
Which one would you
have picked? Just so I know whether I could have
beaten
you.
Come on! Play the
game.
Interesting.
So what do you
think?
Shall
we?
Really... What do
you think?
Can you beat me?
Are you clever enough...to bet your life?
JOHN: Sherlock!
TAXI DRIVER: I bet you get bored, don't
you?
I know you
do.
A man like you. So
clever. But what's the point of being clever if you
can't prove
it?
Still the
addict.
But this...this is
what you're really addicted to.
You'll do
anything...anything at all, to stop being bored.
You're not bored
now, are you?
Isn't it
good?
SHERLOCK: I was, wasn't I? Did I get it
right?!
OK... Tell me this. Your sponsor. Who was
it? The one who told you about me,
my fan. I want a name.
TAXI DRIVER: No...
SHERLOCK: You're dyng, but there's still time to
hurt you. Give me...a name.
A name! Now.
The name!
TAXI DRIVER: Moriaty.
SHERLOCK: Why have I got this blanket? They keep
putting this blanket on me.
LESTRADE: Yeah, it's for shock.
SHERLOCK: I'm not in shock.
LESTRADE: Yeah, but some of the guys want to take
photographs.
SHERLOCK: So, the shooter. No sign?
LESTARDE: Cleared off before we got here. But a guy
like that would have had enemies,
I suppose. One of them could have been
following him, but...we've get
nothing to go on.
SHERLOCK: Oh, I wouldn't say that.
LESTRADE: OK. Give me.
SHERLOCK: The bullet they just dug out of the wall's
from a handgun. A kill shot over
that distance with that kind of weapon,
that's a crack shot. But not just a
marksman, a fighter. His hands couldn't
have shaken at all so clearly he's
acclimatised to violence. He didn't fire
until I was in immediate danger
though, so strong moral principle. You're
looking for a man probably with a
history of military service, and...nerves
of steel...
Actually, do you know what? Ignore
me.
LESTRADE: Sorry?
SHERLOCK: Ignore all of that. It's just the er...the
shock talking.
LESTRADE: Where are you going?
SHERLOCK: I just need to...talk about the
rent.
LESTARDE: I've still got quedtions.
SHERLOCK: What now? I'm in shock. Look, I've got a
blanket.
LESTRADE: Sherlock!
SHERLOCK: And, I just caught you a serial killer...
More or less.
LESTRADE: OK. We'll pull you in tomorrow, off you
go.
JOHN: Erm, Sergent Donova has...just been explaining
everything. The two pills...
dreadful
business, isn't it? Dreadful.
SHERLOCK: Good shot.
JOHN: Yes. Yes, must have been. Though that
window.
SHERLOCK: Well, you'd know.
Need to get the powder burns out of your
fingers. I don't suppose you'd
serve time for this, but let's avoid the
court case.
Are you all right?
JOHN: Yes, of course I'm all right.
SHERLOCK: Well, you have just killed a
man.
JOHN: Yes... That's true, isn't it? But he wasn't a
very nice man.
SHERLOCK: No. No, he wasn't, really, was
he?
JOHN: Frankly a bloody awful cabbie.
SHERLOCK: That's true, he was a bad cabbie. You
should have seen the route he took us
to get here.
JOHN: Stop it! We can't giggle, it's a crime scene.
Stop it.
SHERLOCK: Well, you're the one who shot
him.
JOHN: Keep your voice down.
Sorry, it's
just erm...nerves, I think.
SHERLOCK: Sorry.
JOHN: You were going to take that damn pill, weren't
you?
SHERLOCK: Course I wasn't. Biding my time. I knew
you'd turn up.
JOHN: No, you didn't. That's how you get your kicks,
isn't it - You risk your life to
prove you're
clever.
SHERLOCK: Why would I do that?
JOHN: Because you're an idiot.
SHERLOCK: Dinner?
JOHN: Starving.
SHERLOCK: End of Baker Street there's a good
Chinese. Stays open till two. You can
tell a good Chinese by the bottom third of
the door handle.
JOHN: Sherlock... That's him, that's the man I was
talking to you about.
SHERLOCK: I know exactly who that is.
MYCROFT: So... Another case cracked. How very
public-spirited. Though that's never
really your motivation, is it?
SHERLOCK: What are you doing here?
MYCROFT: As ever, I'm concerned about
you.
SHERLOCK: Yes, I've been hearing about your
'concern'.
MYCROFT: Always so aggressive. Did it never occur to
you that you and I belong on the
same side?
SHERLOCK: Oddly enough - no.
MYCROFT: We have more in common than you'd like to
believe. This petty fued between us
is simply childish. People will suffer. And you
know how it always upset
Mummy.
SHERLOCK: I upset her? Me?
It wasn't me that upset her,
Mycroft.
JOHN: No. No, wait...
Mummy? Who's
mummy?
SHERLOCK: Mother. Our mother.
This is my brother, Mycroft.
Putting in weight again?
MYCROFT: Losing it, in fact.
JOHN: He's your brother?
SHERLOCK: Course he's my brother.
JOHN: So he's not...
SHERLOCK: Not what?
JOHN: I don't know... Criminal
mastermind?
SHERLOCK: Close enough.
MYCROFT: For godness' sake. I occupy a minor
position in the British government.
SHERLOCK: He is the British government, when he's
not too busy being the British
Secret Service or the CIA on a freelance
basis.
Good evening, Mycroft.
Try not to start a war before I get home,
you know what it does for the
traffic.
JOHN: So, when you say you're concerned about him -
you actually are concerned?
MYCROFT: Yes, of course.
JOHN: I mean, it actually is a childish
foud?
MYCROFT: He's always been so resentful. You can
imagine the Christmas dinners.
JOHN: Yeah...
No...God,
no.
I'd better
erm... Hello again.
ANTHEA: Hello.
JOHN: We met earlier on the evening.
ANTHEA: Oh!
JOHN: OK. Good night.
MYCROFT: Good night, Dr.
Watson.
SHERLOCK: So, dim sum. Mmm! I can always predict the
fortune cookies.
JOHN: No, you can't.
SHRELOCK: Almost can. You did get shot,
though.
JOHN: Sorry?
SHERLOCK: In Afghanistan. There was an actual
wound.
JOHN: Oh. Yeah, shoulder.
SHERLOCK: Shoulder! I thought so.
JOHN: No, you didn't.
SHERLOCK: The left one.
JOHN: Lucky guess.
SHERLOCK: I never guess.
JOHN: Yes, you do.
What are you
so happy about?
SHERLOCK: Moriarty.
JOHN: What's Moriarty?
SHERLOCK: I've absolutely no idea.
ANTHEA: Sir, shall we go?
MYCROFT: Interesting, that soldier fellow. He could
be the making of my brother...or
make him worse than ever. Either way, we'd better
upgrade their surveillance
status.
Grade three active.
ANTHEA: Sorry, Sir - whose status?
MYCROFT: Sherlock Holmes, and Dr.
Watson.
( THE END )
